Act 1- The Urge
I want to scream.
But—
Instead I write,
The things I cannot say.

Act 2- The Tension
Silence.
My words are
Tearing
At these pages,
Trying to get out.
Freed.

Act 3- The Ache
Desperation—
Between every line
And pause.
Waiting,
Wanting,
To be seen,
To be heard,
Felt.

I don’t really like who I am when I’m next to my friends,
I feel someone else every time I close the living room door in my apartment.

My mom’s at home.
I can’t recognize how I act when I’m living with my family,
If I lock the bathroom door, I feel myself now.

How can I be someone else when I’m still the person I am in any situation?
How can I feel myself when I’m alone if that means no one’s watching?
Does it mean no one is ever gonna know who I am?

Who will I be when I meet someone new?
Who will talk about me with sureness?

I still lock the doors of any room I’m in.

I can feel it — faint, confined.
It's still there, but undefined.
Just suppressed,
and drugged to rest,
by a pill I couldn’t mind.

My brain won’t think, it slips, it stalls.
Like echoing in padded halls.
It’s wrong, it’s still,
it bends my will —
the silent weight that gently falls.

Traces of fear, of thought, of grace,
drift like mist through a flooded place.
I sense, not live,
no flame to give —
just shadows I can’t face.

Like perfume trails that softly cling —
of fear, of love, of everything.
They haunt, they stay,
but fade away —
as if beneath a wing.

They’re trapped inside, they do not spill.
All smothered
by that morning pill.
It crushed the tide,
the storm, the chill —
the scream I couldn’t will.

In the creases of my heart, I sit alone.
Feeling the waves of life hit as soothing as snow.
My husk feels hollow, as though I am melted to the bones.
Above me are clouds of darkness and thunder,
moving as silent as the despair through my blood.
I look at the journey afar to just catch a glimpse—
a glimpse of the promised life that seems a lie so far.

Do you see her?
A quiet smile, steady and calm,
like sunlight on glass.
warm—
but with shadows beneath.

Do you see her?
How she takes a deep breath,
pulls her coat tight,
Steps out into the cold,
where the world awaits.

Do you really see her?
The gentle glow she carries,
even when darkness lingers,
how she offers light,
without asking for it back.

Do you séé her?
The parts she keeps hidden .
Not broken, just quiet,
waiting for the right moment—
to speak.

So, do you see her?
All of her?

I didn’t forget you, baby—
I’ve just been a little absent.
You see... it’s a boy.

He says sweet things,
Likes my smile,
Says my voice is heaven,
Notices my earrings.

I didn’t forget you, baby—
It’s just that I don’t want to cry.
You’ve held my pain,
Every word etched with blood.

His family seems nice,
The kind from the movies.
He wants to ride a horse.
He makes me blush.

I didn’t forget you, baby—
You seem far away.
I can’t run this fast.
We’ll meet again...
Maybe tomorrow.

The struggle of being too human,
Caring for someone else too much,
But not feeling that it's too much.
Even though they say,
You should play Google snake,
Instead of walking me places.

my heart still skips a beat
when you send a message,
my phone goes beep beep.

          we're just friends now,
          why does my heart miss beats
          when i hear your beeps?

                  why am i not over you?
                  why can't i stop,
                  stop feeling...

                           feelings so strong, like a thumb
                           hovering over
                                    your name.

Feelings tend to be hard,
From them,
We long to break apart.

But if you're going through hardship,
Baby, know that you're loved,
You're stronger than what you oppose.

Something in me breaks away,
When you say,
"It's fine,"
Instead of,
"It's okay."
Not from how it sounds,
At least,
It wasn't.
But you told me long ago,
"When I say it's fine,
It's not."
So are we playing games,
Are we chasing wild geese,
I beg you to communicate,
Yet you say,
"Read my mind."
I can't, not the way you want me too,
I love you, I need to,
More than anything.
So are we,
fine.
Or are we,
Okay