Here I am
Sitting at a simple desk
With a simple light
And a simple book next to me

The bookmark is sticking out on page 10
And in order to move it further
I will have to read
I will have to work
I will have to put my mind to it

Excuses

But life is the same
I feel like that bookmark
Someone has to move me
But doesn’t put their mind to it

I am next to that person
On their simple desk
Under their simple light
Located in a simple book

Why am I left there
Stranded between words
A complete standstill
Because of someone else’s excuses

i don't know anything
but i'm young
i have an excuse

you're older
you say you know better
but you know nothing
what's your excuse?

you say you know me better
but if you really did
then you'd never want to see me again

see, i don't know anything
because i'm young
so just excuse all of the above
i just told you my excuse

or so everyone says
when they justify what i do
what other young people do
then turn around and fault us for being young

i don't know if i like it
if i'm supposed to feel relieved or insulted
sometimes both

you see, there's the kind, comforting "you're young, you'll learn"

the exasperated, tired-of-you "oh my god, you're young"

the condescending, i-know-better-than-you "you're so young"

the i-wish-i-was-you, "i can't believe how young you are"

the unsolicited, let-me-give-you-some-advice "you're young right now"

and then the hesitant, i'm-not-qualified-for-this-and-i'm-bullshitting "you're young...you know..."

i might have missed some
let me know
i just know that ageism is a real plague to our society
it's time things change







Hahahaha I'm kidding. Maybe. Not really.

Call me young.
I am.
There's nothing I can do about it.
I'm going to stay young for as long as I am young.
What good comes out of growing up too fast?
So call me young.
Until I'm not.

I will use it as an excuse for as long as I can.

Why do I feel the need to explain myself to myself
Using preloaded excuses from myself for myself then toward myself
Feels impossible to keep myself safe from myself
In the attempts to escape myself I've lost myself
What's it going to take to save myself from myself?
The endless battle with my mental health, fighting myself despite myself
Do I even know myself well enough to know if I should save myself?
Why, at times, do I want to be someone else?
These are the things I ask myself...
...I tell myself to keep it too yourself

©2023

Everything on my body
That I have two of
Don't match perfectly
So why do my socks need to


Wednesday excuses

If any path you took would lead you to greatness
Would you still be afraid of taking the first step?
And stay where you were and still are now
Living each passing second in waking regret?

Because the path to greatness does not mean
The journey is a one way, uphill climb
You fall off and climb then rest in between
Taking care of yourself regardless of time

Because the lessons lie in every moment
Mundane or overbearing extremes
You can find each lesson in the takeaways
If your mindset is easy to upkeep

Because a dream will never come to fruition
If it only lies comfortably where you sleep
Bring it forth into your waking moments
Or live a life waiting to grieve

Because I need that daily reminder
That it is not what but who I believe
I am capable of making things happen
I’ll take myself there with my own two feet