There's nothing he can say
to make me forgive him

and maybe that's unfair
but not everyone deserves a second chance

You don't want to be in my photos.
That’s fine, a thumbtack will stay in your place
You don't want to be in my videos.
That’s fine, I can trim, cut, edit
Until your shadow is completely erased
You don't want to be in my life.
Click
Drag
Delete
That’s fine with me.

Cello cords snap, slice, fresh
Wounds bloom next to old scabs
Rosy slits puncture through cotton gloves
With thread and time, they say
We’ll mend.
Intertwining blows face a silent war
Unwinded by a cannon salute.
Across the battlefield
Conductors pick up their batons
Holding ready
Waiting
For you to throw
The opening note
Waiting
For me to throw
The first Molotov
Shatters.
The trumpet hook screeches
A familiar overture blares
Confetti glass garnishes our drinks
Gasoline reek, whiskey aftertaste
A night of dancing dares.
We fall back
Into a bed of thorns
Composed by sleepless fights
We have not learned to knit or sew
Our petals dangle from the receptacle
Swaying to the chorus.

Glass ticking like cold plastic

My fingers thrum hopelessly in the hopes of drumming up a solution to a problem with an issue of loss.

This dilemma has found me at the end of my rope and I fear the knots in my stomach are only getting tighter as I squeeze you closer to me now.

Why can't I help me?

I won't let you do it for me.

But must I force feed you the truth?

I'm not hungry for this day any more. Fighting this sickness, I choke back another spoonful of medicine...
--And what am I supposed to do now then?!

Frustration consumes me.
I am bile. The emptiness inside, that fills me with rot.

I'm hollow!!

Somebody save me from myself!   I want to self-destruct and not be okay anymore.

I want to fly a Subaru into the sun on fire.
I'm just so ******.

Just leave me behind and maybe I can decompose into something useful and that actually wants to be here and maybe after that I can finally float away from here...

Wouldn't that be okay?
Why should I have to stay.

I never belonged here any way.

Two pines bent over, legs entangled to each
One weighed with anger the other bowed with shelter
A clashing of feelings both wanting the same peace
To save you from your demons, not to destroy and welter.

Anger lashes but you take no notice
Hidden refugee sheltered from the storm
Walls so consumed in fixing someone
That’s so consumed in breaking apart.
Still living in the same dwelling
With disconnected hearts.

Hell’s company attracts
Invisible flames melt wax
Plunged and lost contact
Splashed into a raging sea of orange packs
That sits inside a bottle made of glass
Bars to halfways
As time makes its pass

You’re an uncle now
Don’t you want to watch these roots grow?
You are just a speck of life in specks of time
In my children's mind
An uncle they hardly know.

Your family yells and I wish I can help,
Your family beats but I still wish to meet,
Your family drinks and I still need to jinx,
You a better life.  
You don't deserve this,
You say you do, but you don't.  
Trust me, I won't stop saying this, I won't!  
I love you as a friend, you know I do
How can I make you believe me, what's new with you?
I need for you to understand, so you don't become a shrew,
Will you ever love me as I've loved you?

We have families.
People that care for us
They love you and support you through tough times
Some people don’t have these kinds of families.
They’re…different. Dysfunctional, even.
They can hurt you and abuse you in so many different ways…
If you have one of these families.
There are ways to break free.
Even though it may not look like it.
You will find a way to get out.
And people are willing to help you.