#dissociation poems on Hello Poetry

scarlet-and-gold Nov 2016

I blanket my mind
Blurry my view
And nothing but
Fuzzy faces
Fluorescent lights
The hum
Of inane static noise
Envelope my head
Like a shot of Novocain
With the sweet
Sense of distance

Disorientation
Is the only destination
For a world with a compass
Spinning out of control
But to let go
Is to fling into space
Slowly suffocate
And fade away
But the problem is
I
Don't
Care.
Compass
Please fly me
Away from here

#sad #depression #drugs #space #escape #numb #apathy #apathetic #dissociation

samantha page Nov 2016

up for all eternity

i need to come down from the high sky,
emerge from my fantasies and live life,
but it's so terribly difficult. why?

i feel high all the time,
as if nothing is real
perhaps it's not real...

i can see my whole life falling,
falling, falling, falling to ****,
but still, in my clouded mind,
i can do nothing to stop it all.

it takes time. time to sober up.
but how can i become sober,
when i was never truly high
to begin with? it's all in my head
and how much time do i have?

*one can go up for eternity,
but there's only so far you can fall.

#time #mind #sober #falling #help #high #dissociation #notreally

Nicholas Mercier Coulombe Oct 2016

Vacancy Sign

You have a body.
I know you never sleep there,

spend less time breathing than contemplating,
jailbreak daily from your ribcage,

harbor kitchen spoons to feed your escapism.
hide the entrance
under stale white hotel sheets.

Born to be an actress
with no script, you ponder this
in every mirror.

In every mirror you inherit this vacant body,
enough money to live in a studio apartment
in Washington, Vegas or anywhere

men would pay for three phone plans,
calf-length black socks and pseudonyms.

A room at the Marriot to trade scars,
connect you again with your skin.

At a political dinner
roasted hog, blueberry pie,
gilded knifes protecting the spoons.

Dog mouths are wet for scraps.
They bark beneath the table,

"Unoccupied bodies, should start charging rent.
Have you considered being a *** worker?"

"...Oh come on,
you never even turn on the lights."

#depression #pain #lust #*** #politics #hotel #prostitution #dissociation #scandal #worker

Nicholas Mercier Coulombe Oct 2016

Dissociation Haiku

Snapped marionette
clings to the ceiling, watching.
Ragdoll under man.

#illness #haiku #mental #*** #trans #transgender #**** #ragdoll #dissociation #marionette

Taylor Marion Oct 2016

Demons

What is in my body that makes me weep?
Despite the happy little moments too little to keep.
Despite the tingly churn in the deep of your core;
The sweet dripples from the tongue of your lover.
The tears you licked from their cheek.

What is in my body that makes me look elsewhere?
Despite the comfort that is always there
Of a mother’s protection or a friend’s soft stare.
When the sun is shining and you’re sitting beside them,
Silence is fluent and words are spared.

What is in my body that the limits my mind?
The child wanting to escape the catacombs built inside.
The herd of horses held back by leashes.
The storm in a jar evaporating as I speak this.
An umbrella in my hands thwarting all sunshine.

Who is in my body when I deny my name?
Despite delicate moments when my crises are tame
And the mirror sheds its simulated black skin;
A screen I painted to cage my reflection in
To keep those sharp teeth from reducing me to shame.
Who is in my body and what is her name?

#love #happiness #demons #confusion #contentment #dissociation #innerdemons