Neri Oxman once said:

"You have to go away, to come back home.
You'll never truly have a sense of home,
until you leave home."

Such discontentment over the thought of home
can never carry the despair that is just so wary.

Henceforth; I bemoaned of home---
only to wander far away from it.
Only to never come back home.

Because in truth, my "home" had been lost.
My "home" already went away.

New one, old one---
They depict such distinct disparity

But then again... this is as good as it can get.

Yet, bemoan I still.

One can sacrifice anything in exchange of what they do desire;
Can overlook what matter'd to them  
And e'en contempt who or what was once by their side

Whereas a nutritious land of joy awaits them, tremendous and bright
They but seest it not:
And attribute it to *******, calling it quite rather boring

But a young one of nutritious land of joy disagrees with them
And o'er the contempt
Returns to where he has a bond with:
To whom with he agrees
To the mindset he loves

Regardless, was he wrong?
Careless and reckless?
Out of hope and will to cope?
Who's to say?, He might shall never know

If relationship were like baking
We are flour
Just like how it is sifted
Lumps and bits  are recognized in the
Middle of sifting or the end
Our only difference is that
We are both
Ball of lumps in the beginning
Scratching, rubbing, bumping
Against each other
Trying to figure out
How to get through
The same sieve,
To see how much impurities
Of ourselves we need to get rid
And how much of us
From scratch we can save.

a sound is heard

the morning bird
weeps

do i dare
speak?

a sound is heard

my heart breaks
but i only have thoughts
incomplete

not words.

Painfully golden sun
Runs over the dark brown pasture
Of tranquil summer.
Enlarged double sevens on its waist
And brimming black waves
Striding ahead of me.
What follows after is,
Deadly disfigured disgusting dust.
Grains as sharp as broken glass
Shatter and splash,
Ripping and untangling every little vein
As they revolve inside my two eyes.
For once I-
I wanted to run on the same line.
But being one's mere wish it is,
The scar from yesterday
Edges its piercing blade against my mane,
Pilling every inch of my skin,
Delivering its pain
Across the entire system.
Audience screams as he reaches the white belt.
He was just- just born like that-
Effortless and fortunate.
Yet he snorts as if he owns the world.
Behind him,
My frayed crimson hooves howl in the shadow.
Once again-
I'm on the starting line,
Spurting towards the unseen finishing point
Of a never-ending race.

And so you deny our pain.
Our struggle
In vain?
Yes, thank you for your input;
Just another voice
In the body of the miser,
In the sea of misery...

And in your voice as you speak,
Is the lack of resonance and luster;
Of a voice that utters merely
What it seeks.
Lay down those baseless words
And let them rebound off of the
Words that resound
And leave you ashamed and meek.

Unfeeling you are in your entity
Unseeing you are in your memory
And if I was to be asked of you,
I'd return the favour;
Sans memory of your entity.

You never see us drowning,
So why should you see us succeeding.

I can hardly get my head straight, and between every single
Tone, I readjust the cases, straitening the lace
Binding up the loose ends, mending every one and
Creating strait spaces, borderline alone

Indulgence over emotion, I don't have my own

Add a fifth, and once again to make six
The circle begins closing in, closer and then too close
How many sides there are, to a pint of gin
Are there more mixers in a little bit of sin?

Its my disparity

Something I choose; suffering disuse
And a lack of caring
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I'm just a branch on another tree
Losing the last of my leaves
I feel the wind running through my hair
I swear, it's blowing just for me
--------------------------------------------
I've seen the face of god staring out the ******* monitor
I've seen the wrath of many more, more, **** it
I'm done
I still speak profanely but only on occasion
When I stop to rest, from the rest like I've been vacant
And the break is all I have, before I fade away in chambers

The scent of lavender light permeating my eyes
Draining through the veins and inflaming the day dream spattered
Doesn't matter

The days where hate is the mode of operation
Now, yes. Now, no
Blown out of proportion, maybe so, but I've been alive a while
And I'm still only a couple old
-------------------------------------------
I've been overlooking so many things
In single words, I frame identity
The wind is blowing through my bones
In simple thoughts, and tragedy
--------------------------------------------
And he told me, take a second for yourself now and then
Pen and paper permit magic beyond a mere existential crisis
Might be something to find amid strands of loose light
Find a new light, bright enough to conquer demons, but
Success is still your metric in the meantime

Fine, enough
But, I can fabricate well enough to get
Everything I need from something not enough
****
I even lose myself sometimes

But that's the point I guess
Another time gone by
another moment well defined

I use the same words, same works, same letters
I take the same lessons from the ones bound and fettered
To the cause, of making minds
Fun enough to pass the time
Long enough, oh *******
Its almost...
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If you follow my silver spool
I think I left too soon, if memory serves me
Too true for my own good
And the wind blows through my gilded skin
And I watch the moon rising