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Vaniexe Kafka Jan 2018
Blank space was left
Empty bowl was bereft
Occupied mind is what it was
Numb heart is what it has

Staring
Not thinking
Surviving
Not living

Surrendering
Everything
Surrendering
Nothing

Alive but dead
Covered in red
Slowly flowing
Losing everything

Gaining something
Hearing nothing
Beats gone
It's done

Such a relief
As the thief
Runaway with it
Never again you'll meet

Willingly
You let it be
Finally
You are free.
Vaniexe Kafka Jan 2018
A white paper
Not a single letter
Lies in there
Lies you cover

Heart thumps
Foot stomps
Nervousness
Hide the mess

Truth in dark
Killed the spark
Hope is dead
Life ended

Secret
You kept
How long
You'll live wrong?
Vaniexe Kafka Jan 2018
Suffering alone
Cracking bones
Calling home
Wish to have won
The past battle
Not left with little
Little courage
Little torn page
Little piece of heart
Making it hard to start
Start a new life
Just pull the knife
Push until they drop
Until the flow stop
Silently cry
Until eyes are dry
Until it's done
Until I'm gone
Such a fast escape
From this world I hate
Vaniexe Kafka Jan 2018
Understand
That I don't want
To be known
But be understood how I've grown
Quiet at times
Giving birth to certain rhymes
In my head where no one
Was there to see no sun
Just the demons whispering in my ear
Dancing with the rays of my fear
How I find solace in darkness
And solitude in my peacefulness
How my nightmares keep haunting
Their promise so enticing

Understand that I pretend to be busy
To ease the loneliness inside of me
That I sleep in the middle of something
Cause it's the time my demons are attacking
How overthinking envelopes
Pushes me to slopes
Tightening the ropes
Taking away my hopes
Suffocating
Choking
Until I'm drowned in melancholia
Until I'm consumed by paranoia

Understand
That when I say I'm fine
I mean I don't want you to bother
With me and that I'd rather
Deal with this alone
Than burden you with my thorns
Thorns that chain me
Thorns that pain me
Then rip me apart
Shredding my heart
In the process
Leaving me lifeless
But it's okay
It is how I will ever stay
Lifeless, motionless, numb
Let my body succumb
To infinite oblivion
Killing my emotion

Understand
That even I can't understand
How I will survive
How I will thrive
To live and be alive
To not dive
To continue breathing
To stop from writhing
With the pain spreading
In my body taking
Over me
Over is me.
People never realize,
Or recognize,
The touch of a broken soul.

The despondence,
Fear and need,
Skilfully masked beneath.

Pain never shows,
On their poker faces.
How battered they still fight,
Still live.
Cate Nov 2014
You're picking at me
like scabs of my mistakes

Disappointing you
is easy;
and admittedly-
pleasing.

We're careening down the mountain
and you've cut the brakes.

Your medication give you the shakes
and I twitch in my sleep

Your love is cheap
and the wine is sweet
and I awake the next morning
with a migraine from both.

What a gracious host.


I'll try to make ends meet and
you'll half-heartedly sing me to sleep.

We'll do the whole **** thing
again on repeat
week after week.

— The End —