It's two thirty-three-
sleep is not my enemy
or so I had thought

SOS I call-
one last plea to anyone
to come rescue me

Even when I'm happy,
there is a certain sadness.
Even in my words, my smile,
there is a hint of melancholy
that I cannot escape.

I am a scarecrow-
crooked teeth and
a crooked heart.
I'm in shambles swaying
in the darkest nights
so full of terrors-
yet they are so
exhilarating.

We embrace the darkness
with arms wide open because
we've nothing else to hold.

Sitting on a crowded bus
on my way to another show,
wondering why I bothered
leaving home in the first place.

I awake from an eternal sleep
All around me reeks, with the beats
Of the beats of every being around me
I close my eyes and beg for the sounds to stop
But their forced open by my biological clock
I learn to walk, then to talk, and then I’m filled with so many thoughts

At night I stay awake and think, and think, and think
Never even stopping to blink, as I continually think
Why am I here? Where is here? What am I?
And nobody can answer.
“Life’s a gift”, they say, “be grateful you’re here”
“Respect your parents” they command so very clear

So I do as they say, I listen to every command
I remain calm, I remain sane, despite my brain’s insanity
Despite my own wishes, despite my dreams, that one day I shall be free
Not by the clutches of man, but by the imprisonment of my being
By my cell that is my body, by my vessel that is limiting
That not to death shall I do it part, no button for a restart

But I keep trying, I’m kind to every person I meet
But repeat after repeat, the response I get is bleak
Like I’m a freak, like I can’t connect with those around me
And slowly, I learn the truth about this world
The horror that everything is wrong, there is nowhere to belong
I can’t connect to people and they can’t connect to me

We’re trapped, forever to suffer in existence
But people look at it from a distance, because the truth is too painful
Too much for one man to understand, too consuming of the mind
Knowledge is a poison, it’ll rot you from inside
Over time, you’ll find that your parents were not kind
To let you come into this world with everyone but you in mind

Life is not a gift, it’s a curse
Out of all fates, it’s the worse
I will not continue to immerse in the lie
The truth we try to hide, the truth that we fool ourselves
Thinking we have worth, that one day we won’t just be dirt
That the good out weighs the bad is nothing but a scam

You are a victim, just as I
Don’t let society tell you otherwise
But please don’t cry, or be consumed with hate
Embrace the fact you have a choice to let your genes die
No need to multiply, stop your bloodline
And one day, you’ll be allowed to sleep again.

She finds comfort in the night.
Not as warm or popular
as the day.
It must be the silence
caressing her soul at night
or the darkness that washes away
the dirt from yesterday.
She waits for the night-
she waits for the peace.

I don't like what I see when I wake up
Connecting my thoughts but they just break up
Every step's a compromise, telling perfect lies
But you know that I can't pull a wool over your eyes

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

I can't do it anymore, I can't open the door
Losing my center, lost sight of my core
Wasting my time looking back on days of yore
Looking for something that's still in store
Walking these aisles felt like a mile
Hanging on like a WinRAR trial
Why can't I let it go? Why can't I take it slow
Down a slippery ***** and it's getting cold
Watching people take my place, and thinking that's okay
I guess I'm just complacent, with nothing else to say

Watch your mouth, don't let it come out
Don't let them know what you're all about
Next thing you know they're gonna drown your shout
This is one hurdle you can't walk around
How are you gonna find your way out now

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

I don’t know if I need a friend-
I don’t know if I am on the mend.
All I know is that it feels like
this feeling will never end.