I'm lonely when the sky is bright and blue.

When the breeze tries to whisper through my hair,
I wish it wouldn't.

When the sun tries to brighten my face,
I wish an eclipse would darken the skies.

Then the birds try to drown out my thoughts with their endless songs and the flowers ask why I don't admire their pretty petals.

It's too bright. Too noisy. Too colorful. Too....alive.

My mind is only at peace in a world of darkness, stillness, and quiet solitude.

Let me recede into the dark, hazy corners of my soul I call home.
Let me rest.

Do you know why people pay for their therapist to listen?
Because you don’t.

"Are you ok?"
I hear them ask
"Yeah"
I reply
My voice
Subconsciously growing higher pitched
So that I sound fine
So that I sound happy

But truth is
Most of the time I'm not ok
I hide my pain
I'm not too sure why
Usually I just don't feel like talking about it
Discussing hard topics

I want help
I need help
Yet I always reject it

It's funny how rejection works
It hurt me so badly
When it came from someone else
And yet I reject all the time
And once again I'm the one that's hurt
Because I lie
Over and over again
"I'm fine"

But I know I'm not fine
I wonder if other people know too
If they just pretend to believe me
Or maybe I'm such a good actress
That no one can tell

I want help
I need help
I know I need help
It's not normal to be contemplating death
And yet I can't find it in me to tell someone
I feel so depressed
That I don't feel like talking
To anyone

Maybe one day
I'll find it in me to tell the truth

"Are you ok?"

"No"

My life is good
Right?

I have a father
Smart
Kind
A provider for our family
I have a mother
Loving
Hardworking
Someone who will always be here for me
I have a sister
Talented
Hilarious
My best friend

I have a roof over my head
Clothes on my body
Food in my stomach

I have electronics for my entertainment
Friends who I can talk to
Two adorable dogs
Who never fail to put a smile on my face

I have everything I need to be happy
So why aren't I?

Depression is like a bottomless pit
Once you fall in
You can almost never get out

You claw at the walls of the deep hole
Using all of your strength
To climb to the surface
The effort is grueling
But you have a spark of hope
That you're strong enough

But a stone falls from above
Catching you off guard
And you fall once again
Landing ******* the cold floor
Right back where you started

Your body is weak and exhausted
The attempt to save yourself
Is taking its toll
You lie on your back
Gazing up at the light
Coming from the entrance of the chasm
But you are too weary to try again
So you lay there
As your hope fades away

Hello Darkness 🖤

I ran afar from you,
as a toddler.
Hoping and wanting light,
As bright and safe.

But as I grew taller and aged to wither,
I came to hear silent calls from YOU.

The glance of you gave me thrills and chills
But onto diving deeper,
I came to know you are nothing but my soul.

I found the peace,
From the deep oceans/
and the tenderness
Of the gentle breeze

Only answer to my heart,
Was to invite you wide into my arms.🖤

~ Varsha_S

concealed with a facade
hidden between myself and I
I run around
roaming
looking for a sound
a lie shouts
another one too
I search for the truth
but all I find is
another fake version of you

I’m an ocean without any waves
A song without any sound
A book without any words
A car without any gas
I’m a shell of who I was
Who I want to be
Who I meant to be

sometimes i wonder if i’m doing this right
or if everyone else is just pretending that i am.