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Your love is as sweet as the sugar,
                   That  I've been addictively indulging,
             For so many years.



        Every piece of you,
                      Is just the most gratifying that I have tasted!




                                   But when together we've been drowned with tribulations,





                                    You just gave up rapidly...






And dissolved!




                                   Integrating and going with the flow,

                         Of those torments and allurements,




Now where are you?




You are now a part of those afflictions that drowned you,


                                            I can still taste your sweetness,


                      Every time I sip through the trials,
                                That we've face,
          Resulting to weaken your knees,
    And been defeated,




       I was totally in great pain,


        To know that your love,

Can be just greatly surmounted,

                            By miseries in life,



But what can I do?

                                            I fight, you relinquish,


And until then,

You just become a memory,

Of an achingly baleful chronicles of my life.


                      © Earl Jane
                         ♥ E.J.C.S.

I am defeated
The day was dark grey
Cold and windy
Cemetery
Blue flapping tent
Ready to fall over
And the Preacher
Droning on and on

Today I am tired and hungry
Trying not to eat the junk
That my friends put in front of me
Grateful for the plateful
Two hundred and seventy pounds
And I just want to eat then fall sleep

Today I am defeated
Both sides find no reason
A killer left unindicted
The marginalized left enraged
Sets the stage for more violence
And violence begets violence

Today I am defeated
So it’s no surprise
That the poetry is uninspired
Rage and melancholy
Are like spiraling lovers
Dancing in and out
Of each other’s arms

Today I am defeated
All the kind words are needed
But they only lighten the load slightly
My chest still stings tightly
The tears still fall lightly
Maybe tomorrow will shine
A little more brightly
But I cannot say for certain

The battle is over
my blade is broken
all of my arrows
have long been spent

Blood runs like a river
my flesh burnt ,
bones broken , flesh cut ,
stabbed and divided

And on my knees
I face my Victor
asking no grace
I the conflictor

Waiting for the inevitable
every second labored
would you do the honor
end it now and not later

Standing stock still as your eyes
bored into mine.
Ambivalent of whether i should
stay here or leave.
Ignorant about the situation
i have been in.
Screaming in my blank face
i'm just hopeless.
Tears remain unshed inside,
i broke apart.
Watching you feed the flames,
i stepped right in.
the moment i was engulfed i knew
that i was home.

For one of the rare moments in my life
I was genuinely
happy

I had been myself
and I was strong
I felt secure
and I felt loved

Everything was right
the clouds
the weather

I was
on top
of the
world

And then like
a tidal wave
it was over

The monsters of the sea
wrapped their dangerous
tentacles around my legs
and pulled me back into the dark depths

I was overwhelmed
and saddened
too tired to lift up my head

it was the same story
the same voices repeating over and over again
reprimanding
scolding

I guess I'll just keep going
looking forward to the next time
I'll be happy

I think and I thought
I weep in my dear thoughts
What have I done
What could have been
I lay in regrets on a single mistake

It was a day like any other
Coffee in the morning
Feeling the warmth of the sun, in my face

I was in battle for days
A battle of currencies
A battle of endurance
A battle in which, I am getting drained
My mind is tired
My body is weaken
My thoughts are in disarray

With a click of a mouse
I have lost it all
With that click of a mouse
I have fallen down
With that click of a mouse
I felt a slash in my heart
That hurts like nothing I ever knew
With that click of a mouse...
I have became nothing but a rotting log

As they say,
When it rain, it pours
Today, hard as I tried to stand again
I never could
The clouds thunder
The lighting strikes
I have became nothing but a rotting log, soaked in mud

The skies are grey
The end is not in sight
The pain is beyond my threshold
The pain is killing me slowly
I feel suffocated
Suffocated with failures
Months of success, undone by a single click

I can only hope, I can get up again
I can only hope, the sun rises
I can only hope, I can only hope