The snow drowns me,
in cold white solitude.
Down down down I fall,
until I feel nothing,
Nothing at all.

You can still see the imprint,
where I fell through,
The snow covers all,
a false, clean, wonderland,
In which I lie small.

The air punches out of my lungs,
as the snow constricts more,
I am paralyzed,
my brain starts to close in,
I will surely be traumatized.

I won't make it out this hole,
I will be just another thing,
Hidden just below the snow,
where no one will find me,
Except maybe a crow.

I sink even further,
to my own personal hell,
I can't feel anymore,
my brain turned off,
And everything is cold right down to my core.

I dream of running,
to someplace warm,
Where I might not drown,
but I am stuck here,
In this one horse town.

They'll bury me someday,
maybe once it melts,
Maybe they'll find me,
when they go looking for pelts.

I begin to fade away,
slowly, as I go to die,
I wish it went faster,
for it's slower than July.

And with my last thought,
I realized it was all for nought.

Goodbye, old friend,
You saw me clear through to the end.

The Gardener moves  
a plant suddenly.
The plant does not know  
where it will go,  
knowing only home  
familiar place  
with friends all around  
close and touching  
unaware  
they are too close  
to grow well.
The new place    
is open, spacious  
with old friends  
of long ago.
Friends at home  
in grief conclude  
that he had died.

I am the culmination of your sin.
The ***** wearing your past's blood-stained furs.
Through greed, gluttony, lust,
I am what remains.
Pride, wrath, envy, sloth
all soak my skin within their reign.

I am the shadows of your teenaged rebellion.
I am the first and final bricks within the wall.
I am the ash burnt, rotting your lungs.
I am the unfired gun left rusted at your feet.
I am the final words uttered through your lips.
I am the silhouette etched in your sheets.
I am God of all that I am.
I am nothing.
I am everything.
So, please take my hand.

I realize that the time we have won’t be enough.
If you add all the moments up....
You have a lifetime that flashed by in the blink of an eye.
& Maybe if I can count all our moments together...
Instead I will have an eternity to share.
Today, I am 23 and tomorrow I shall be flowers arising.
I clench and whisper to myself to remember every detail.
Feeling the moments slipping.
As the way life arises into consciousness & then out to oblivion.
I am reminded that all of myself is only the parts in which I can recollect.
My mind the only bridge from meaningful to meaningless.
I pinch my crisp blue jeans in hopes that I can still feel that I exist.
I can feel my unmanicured nails piercing my skin through my jeans.
All in hopes of penetrating the impermanence nature of this moment.
The hourglass drips a grain of sand at a time.
Yet, it only takes a second for a desert to form.
Maybe on the edge of the world standing upon a desert I can find solace. 
Finding comfort instead of fear about where I end and the infinite begins.

Grief carves a part of your soul in its passing.
The gaping emptiness that fills you after its left.
Sweeps silently like wind passing through a leafless tree in the Fall.
The only difference their skin bares the truth of what they lost.
The labyrinth of a garden was to veil the corpses that it was buried on.
& it to dies with winter.
How nature teaches us to bear each loss.
But is it nature’s order to grow from despair?
Maybe I’d spent too much time picking flowers instead of watering them.

I have countlessly dreamt,
I have unboundedly imagined,
That the day would come,
when you're truly gone.
But never did I expect,
the way you took your last breath,
At rest on my lap,
head up above,
Searching for my eyes,
looking within as to how my heart cries.
I never understood the language of grief,
until I've lost the butterflies out of my grip.
Oh its been a year and also two,
when both of you bid farewell,
the clouds turned grey, the shadow reigns.
But never have I let myself drown in despair,
for I truly know you have finished your race,
Awaiting for the promised life beyond compare,
Where the chosen one's will meet each other once again.