Waiting for life
Is to wait for death.
You will have time.
But you never know
Which will be your last breath

I woke up suddenly
and it felt like I had slept
for a century.

I walked into the living room
where I was surprised to see
many members of my extended family.

I knew I heard them talking
quite normally; but as soon
as I entered, they started whispering.

I ignored them and walked to the door
eagerly - like I do nightly to wait
and welcome my only remaining parent.

I became cold all of a sudden
as I remembered why they were
all gathered in our living room.

My only remaining parent had died
that morning; and I had fainted
right after hearing it.

"Someone should hold him from falling!!!"
Was what I heard last
as I felt my body hit the ground.
I had fainted - again.

I have loved too much,
its just imagery in my head.
You can tease me kindly
and I'll love you fondly,
I know its flirting at the end,
Those all-seeing eyes
like the shining of bright
Pelicans flap and cry
when its not time to fly.
Dead at the end graffiti
A rebel's chest not perished.
These old steps decrepit
barely can take my weight
and my visions are serious,
recent until flaming wheat

The sun rises anyway,

indifferent to absence,

painting the same golden squares

across your empty bed.
Coffee brews in kitchens

where your name will be spoken

in past tense for the first time,

voices breaking on the syllables.
Your phone buzzes with messages

that will never find you—

lunch plans, inside jokes,

the ordinary love of ordinary days.
Someone will have to call your work,

cancel your dentist appointment,

decide what to do with the milk

that expires next Tuesday.
The world keeps its appointments

while those who loved you learn

to navigate the sudden geography

of a life with you-shaped holes.
Your favorite song plays on the radio

in a car where someone weeps,

remembering how you hummed along,

fingers drumming the dashboard.
The morning after is not an ending—

it's the first day of everyone else

learning to carry the weight

of all your unfinished stories.

I'll bring you stories,
of the one heart beating,
an end to thumping,
then the one dying,
the burial of daffodils,
and all of the roses,
story of sorrow,
the one of tomorrow......

sometimes i’m asked
about my siblings.
i don’t mention you.
at all.

in that moment,
i’m already lying —
not naming you
with those still living
because the memory
will always sting raw.

it feels like erasing you.
but you don’t exist.
not in the world
they know.
i don’t speak your name
or what i hold back,
in those unsaid words.

i don’t need their sorrys,
their tilted heads,
want to unwrap
the sudden,
the young,
the different.

i do have siblings.
i have a few.

it’s easier this way.

i could talk about you,
attila.
but you’re stitched
into the past,
like an old photo
that the living
don’t get to touch.

it's easier this way.

to carry your presence,
in the sleeve of my heart,
so you never fade.

He was an actor who died at the age of seventy.
William died of complications from heart surgery.
He starred in over eighty television shows over the years.
This man chose to be a character actor, that was his career.
He starred on The Andy Griffith Show in 'Stranger In Town'.
He died over thirty years ago and he's buried in the ground.
He starred in 'Sanford and Son', 'Newhart' and 'Cold Steel'.
He also starred in an episode of 'The Trials of Rosie O'Neill'.
He starred in one episode of both 'Wonder Woman' and 'Amen'.
It's sad because William is dead and we will never see him again.