I'm screaming
I'm wailing
I'm crying
But you don't hear
I'm begging
I'm sobbing
I'm dying
But you don't hear

You're laughing
You're making fun
You're sneering
Of course I hear
You're shoving
You're tugging
You're jeering
Of course I hear

So deaf are you,
So much I hear
How much has changed
In just one year?

What if sound was robbed,
Held at gunpoint
And smuggled away
From me
Into a duffel of contraband.

What if songs became nothing?
What would I
Do? As the bus
Bounces up and down,
When the sun hasn't
Yet stolen it's kiss.
The window yields
Bland scene
And I would recognize
The silence
In the detestful
Way I do
When I forget the wires.

What if his voice
Was gone?
Could I remember it?
Could I fill in sound as his
Lips moved,
God
All I'd ever see
Would be lips.
And I don't like mouths as it is.
But maybe
They'd be my new wires
And my eyes would follow
Their parted
Movements, enamored.

What if instructions were silenced
And I was left to guess at
What to do?
Emergency situation
Stealing my life away
Because I couldn't hear
Anything about
The oxygen supply
Above my head.

I'd perish in silence.

Would I speak?
Or only write?
Would I feel heard
If I could barely fathom listening?

An X over my mouth
An X blinded my eyes
An X made me deaf
An X condemned my mind

I can not speak
I can not see
I can not remember
I can not be

Two worlds that will never collide
And a word that will never make it
Outside of thoughts
Into language

And I can not see
I can not say
What's on my mind
What haunts me down

Because of two straight lines
And a ******* X
Blinding my eyes
Putting me into an endless oblivion
Of all that is inside my mind

A ******* letter
And a world overlapping the other
Of nonsense and mirrors
Of reflections and thoughts

Yesterday a question got me thinking
I never got an answer, I'm hoping I will by the end of this poem


" How do you explain color to a blind man "
How do you explain how red and blue makes purple?
How do you explain how red and yellow makes orange?
How do you explain that the sky is of different shades of turquoise, blue, purple, red, depending on it's mood?
How do you explain the clarity of the clouds on a hot day?
How do you explain the greyness on the clouds, on a gloomy Sunday?
How do you explain the transparent color of the raindrops?
How do you explain the glossy finish on the sea water?
How do you explain the greenness of a forest?
Or the deep red blood that flows in your veins?
How do you do it, to a person who sees nothing, but black;
In a world so cruel?


" How do you explain sound to a deaf man"
How will I explain the beauty of a piano piece?
How will I explain the serenity of the da capo in a violin piece?
How will I explain the stress releasing qualities of drums being slammed?
How will I explain the tears of a newborn baby?
How will I explain the laughter of a newly married woman?
How will I explain the swish of the droplets colliding like bullets on the surface of a waterfall?
How will I explain the glass-like water cascading down the lake?
How will I explain all this, to a man;
Who lives in utter silence.


Maybe that is why I read,
*Do not mock a pain you have not endured.

flayed unto deaf ignorance,
leave me here
in my opensky sepulchre,
skyclad & open,
arms spread upon an iron
cross, feet drenched in
blood (it pools on the ground
like rust) to die in the
pregnant sun, to turn to ash,
to be reborn in dust,
to leap across the earth
carried by a stranger's wind,
into unknown territories--
beyond here lies nothing.

Why must they call me weird?
Its obvious I dont belong here.
Why must I be different?
Maybe one day Ill just dissappear

My life could be so different
If I could see normally.
If only I could hear them,
Without them having to scream.

They take one look at the plastic
wrapped around my ears.
Stare at my thick glasses
And whisper so I cant hear.

-ARI

Music is the air
And listening ears my heart.
If I'm deaf, I'm dead.