Everyday is another day
To either repeat my mistakes or consider forgetting this hate
But everyday I wake up and think of two things
First I think of him
Then I think of you
And I'm sorry my heads out of order
Excuse me for crossing these borders
But I still love him
Can I be infatuated with two?
I'd say yes
Because I'll love you both forever
Though we don't talk I can't let you escape my mind for you are every unanswered question I've ever asked and you are every cell I've left unexplored
Meanwhile
You
I love you as of the current
And I've known this for a long while
But I've sailed every inch of your sea and left a trail of small bruises and remanimts of red lipstick
But I don't want you to leave
I'm just afraid I'll go forever without knowing what he'd be like
Afraid of the unknown
Because with you I am home
With you I am free
But when I exit that ******* door it's him
**** I hate how it's always him and never home
But I love you of the current
And I'm sorry
Don't let me go
Don't leave me stranded in this bed without that well memorized map most call a mind, body and soul
I'm only 15
Why do I feel so old?

"I notmally like darker hair on girls,
But with you it's different," he says.

I've noticed.
I've seen the way you look at it,
When I'm playing with my hair,
As I'm twirling it around my fingers.

The look that you give.
It is the look of a dog,
When he's staring right at you
While you are eating something.

The look of wanting. Desire. Temptation.
And you want to play with it.
You desire my golden locks.
As if the colour had anything to do with your temptations.

Your scent has become chlorine to me.
Every whiff,
Every inhale,
Burns through my nostrils
And into my lungs.

And yet I still cant get enough.

For a moment you flew for me,
And my eyes reflected your light,
For one glistening, glorified moment,
I couldn’t have loved you more,
There you danced, with your words on display
I cried, My Hero! but now in dismay
Fallen you are, and fallen you were,
Why did you hurt me this way?
I can’t say there weren’t warnings,
I won’t say I was sure,
But I adored you,
And staked much on your words.
Your Poetry soothed me,
Took me to great Height!
Does it now lie with you in the dust?
No, perhaps not.
For truth is Truth, and art,
Art.
My heart cries for a true Daniel!
A Poet of Integrity!
My heart will rest in David, King
David.
My first inspiration, my first Poet Hero!
May my heart seek like Yours, and Never Stop!
Never!

Oh!
Oh, oh, oh!
But my heart Bleeds!
For the soul of a man I loved,
And his Godly diamonds.
I will never look on them in the same way,
What is their meaning now?

Psalm 119:136
“Streams of tears flow from my eyes,
    for your law is not obeyed.”

Lighten this part
With the brighter visions

Call on healing
Pain into remission

What you could gain
Strikes hope into
The heart of the sun

This boat
Once a ship of sorrow
Will land on a beach tomorrow
And it's vacation
Hopes creation

Those tears of solitude, you thought
to sink your boat
But instead you cried off the deck
So they kept you afloat

And the sun above, caressing your face...
Enveloping love, shining embrace

As angels cut their wings
We see them fall with a purpose

They wish not to fly any longer
But to swim alongside you on this journey

Because in school, I was taught
To care

She’s wearing
Her favorite dress.

It’s the one that’s all black with
The pink dahlias running
Up the side.
She closes
The door
And smiles.
It’s the kind
Of smile that talks, it says,
“I can read minds”.
There’s a burning in both
Of our guts, so she grabs
The bottom of that dress,
(The one I love)
And stretches her arms to the
Sky until it’s on the floor.

Now,
Its just laundry.

She holds the box of Lo Mein.

We’re drunk and wandering, which is
The best thing to do
When you’re drunk because
The world spins
Beneath you.
It’s like those moving
Sidewalks in the airport.
So we’re laughing, and
Stumbling, and she’s eating,
And the streets of Montreal are
Shining from the day’s rain.
I want to be
Here
With her
Forever,
But she finishes the noodles,
And the peanut sauce,
And dumps the box somewhere
In a garden.


Now,
Its just trash.

There are babies in the park.

I’m smoking a joint
With some French guy
And she’s lying on a blanket in the grass, she’s
Still giving me that smile, and the guy is
Laughing in his accent, and the Moms
Hold their babies, and far off,
There’s a Hobo
Singing to himself,
And he’s wearing a ragged dress,
And picking at the trash,
And the air feels like bathwater, and
I look around and the babies keep on crying,
And my love,
She won’t
Stop
Smiling.

Now,
I’m too **** scared to say
What we become.