TEARS.
Tears are all that I remember from that day.
I remember my head hurting after I was done letting all my EMOTION pour out and that you were gone.
That day was mostly filled with TEARS, SCREAMING, and PAIN.
That day, you left.

I tried to make them STOP but they had a mind of their own and so did you apparently.
WHY?
Why did you cause me so much pain?
You’re the reason for my ABANDONMENT issues.

The THOUGHT of someone leaving me again reminds me of that day and I start to cry OVER, and OVER, and OVER again.
I don’t want anyone to leave me the way you did,
with NO goodbye, NO regret, and NO tears.
TEARS.
Tears are all that I remember from that day.

Losing you felt like losing
                                   all my limbs.

It was all Greek to me
I did not know how to use my legs -
continue walking this entire life,
with the knowledge that you
will never again—
not ever, ever—
tell me that you will pick me up
                                    when I fall.

You are the anchor;
That holds me in place.
You are also the anchor
That pulls me down.

my brother does this thing where he siphons the stories from someone. Usually old people because they have the best stories

I drive through the old homestead – the fog of my emotions

Have of my memories

My father does this thing where he holds his little hands at his waist, twisting them inside one another

We are three generations eating dominoes pizza

Defined by death and divorce – not there and not existing yet
My grandfather is 90. He is stories made flesh and my brother pulls at them like a rope from a,

Well,

Because he has discovered the census data for Ham Lake from 1940

My grandfather tells stories of the missing generation

His father – can’t work because he’s a welfare brat

His mother died young

Stepmother an angel – gave him socks when his father was crying because they cut him off

My father – tells underbreath mumbles of lost arguments and lost respect – he gives me socks for Christmas

Father drank a lot. You get to pick who I’m talking about. Maybe alcoholism skips a generation. If so I fear for my children.

Grandpa joined the navy. His father got a job – everyday worked it through sickness and in health – a marriage of money and mind because the paycheck meant freedom and freedom meant everything

He finds his dad at work – navy uniform coated in the expectations of his brothers.

“So you went and did it.”

The story kind of trails off there, the way old people stories do. Kind of like young person poems

I helped my dad set up the TV we got him for Christmas

Because he never used the guitar center gift card from last year.

My hero is the protecting type.
Loved me no matter what.
Cares and provides for my family.
Serves and protects his own
But no matter what
I see through him
See when he’s sad, mad, or even happy.
I’ve come to know this man.
And love him no matter what.
Throughout my days I will never be able to return he favor
Because he’s just done so much.
I will protect him all my life.
He is a hero
A hero casted down from heaven it’s self!
No matter through the hard times.
He will always love me the same.
When the hardships come
We stand tall
And try not to fall
But if one does,
We pick each other up.
Because it’s what family does.
But Non the less Im proud that he’s my hero
Because he’s been there for me time after time.
Loving me no matter what.
And experiencing life with me.

They all know you
Better than I ever could
They say you hid your feelings
Beneath a heavy hood

They say the rope took you
Or was it you who took the rope
As a child I'd sit at home
All I could do was hope

She says you left by your own accord
She screams it time and again
It is like your rope left her mind
Coated in red wine stains

When you left he came along
A temper in his fists
Like the thunder rumbled in his voice
And often she'd assist

Cancer is a houseguest
in an unwelcoming home.
Picking the lock
and making himself comfortable
Sprawling out on a couch
earned by hard working hands that
He mistakes for his own.