Standing in a crowded room, Knowing everyone and no one.
A solitary individual; sense of impending doom.
I realise my connections
Are empty, shallow, false.
I see, in their eyes, small mirrors and woeful reflections.
Reflecting these emotions
And despite my inner pain,
I see; We all share mixed up notions:

That loneliness is for the alone.

Is it relative
to the struggle
to live
that worked
its way
from all
the epic yesterdays,
each generation
passing dna,
each saga
set in stone
by the sages
who remember?

Is it based
on the formula
of hourly wages
times the time
we put in
constantly working
as a cog in
the machine?

Is it
a product
of relationships
from familial
to all of our
friendships?

Is it
measured
by potential
future achievements?

Or are we just
pounds of flesh
easily discarded,
meat for the factory
cannon fodder,
children to the slaughter?

I wonder,
what is the value of life?

under dust; reclaiming
the leaves, with all their colors,
and deeper yet this certainty:
she still knows
how to smile

I am tethering on the edge again
plagued by decisions, too many
the path to travel is nowhere in sight
all that I have left is melancholy.

I remember how I got to this place
it was certain that I would always be right
yet at every fork, I went wrong or left
now there’s no going back, try as I might.

At sorrow’s end I see myself again
as a farmer trying to grow his future
drawing from the well of memories
tilling the fields like a Repugnant Creature.

The choice is simple when I think about it
to savor the moment, or to sacrifice
yet the edge I stand on, rocking back and forth
I cannot find happiness, regardless of the price.

“Fly”, screams the wind, pushing me ever so gently
“Stay”, say the memories, holding me back in place.
“Fight” mumbles my own inner voice
“Pray”, says the world that put me in this cage.

Weary, I sit down on that cliff
staring for answers in that dark abyss
fighting to undo the chains that bind me
all I ever wanted was a little bit of bliss.

This place is cruel, but so am I
unwilling to give up or to fly away
to go anywhere, just not here
my will won’t be undone, it will not sway.

This is another fork, just like before
a battle to be fought before I have recovered
a question that needs an answer right now
To sever, or to be severed?

To be human is truly an enigma,
A puzzled desperately waiting to be solved.
Are we this,
Or are we that?
The answer to which we may never know.
More and more questions emerge,
As life begins to unfold.
Questions without answers,
Just more pieces for us to hold.
We start with nothing,
And we end up the same.
But we hold all of the parts,
On our journeys way.
We try to assemble it,
The best that we can.
Our painting is a mess,
A puzzle full of holes,
Until the day we decide,
That enough is enough,
And that we should just enjoy our lives.
We drop all the pieces,
And close our eyes,
We take a deep breath,
For the very last time.
And just for a moment,
We can enjoy the ride.
Right up until we say our final goodbyes.