We tend to be self-destructive
And for what do we owe that to?
For whom and what reasons,
Do we rip these parts of ourselves,
Trying to piece it in the oddest of places, when so glaringly obvious
that they don't belong?

We cry endless oceans of tears
Drowning in them, bizarrely,
For our own indulgence! But
at the same time, we're
thrashing in the currents,
Praying for dry land while
also surrendering all hope.

As I sit here,
Alone in my own thoughts,
I cannot help but wonder;
Am I ever truly alone?
No, I dare not say,
Alas, if I do not,
I fear my heart may explode,
Shattering me into a million pieces,
As my soul cries out in bewailment.

- Jay M
September 6th, 2018

as drunk and free as an uncontacted species

glass stained with vitriol;
empty, limp
and forever there to haunt.

Things will never be the same. So easy to say.

an unescapble realisation
that pierces sharp as a tribal spear
formed out of an ivy husk

nipping my body
like snow on a freshly reopened wound
i am bled dry

i am stranded with only self as harbour to delay

This unavoidable crash. The breeze's have teeth

that rip my skin to shreds just to zip it up again.

the faces that make up the windows
are cutouts of people you once knew...

My guide framed in stone embedded in gold --
truncated before hope had it's chance to settle

I'm torn between the mirror and the leap.

Without the vision, people are rarely reminiscent
Of what they have been looking for,
And fall into a deep torpor.
Maybe it's this slumber that makes them realize,
All that they wanted to be was right there
In front of their own eyes.
With such strong desires held in her soul,
A fire was ignited in her heart
A rustling of leaves somewhere in the woods,
Where she sat somewhere along the brook
Pondering to herself,
Is happiness all I seek?
Or maybe it is just one of life's very old tricks
And it reeks.
With such a heavy heart
She walks alone into the woods,
Contemplating whether life is something
She ever understood.

People say love can fix everything
What if love broke you in the first place?
People say life's all about cherishing
What if all you ever got was a disgrace?
People say friends are the family you choose
What if you are born renegade?

She's beautiful, does she know it?
She feels insecure.
Her past's foundation is unstable,

Loosed screws by the screwdriver who was once her anchor.
The man who was supposedly thankful for having her in his life,
Is now a distorted image in the back of her mind,
Still eating her insides.

Living parasites, thoughts of
"I really wish he would (wood) turn" might, (termite)
Not be what's she's truly after.

The sensation of instability is really what's killing her faster
The doubt creeping, one foot in the deep end,
Feels like time is moving faster

As she sinks deeper into the quick sand-mans plaster.
Oh! how she longs to start a new chapter in her life,
Not realizing the pen was in her hand the entire time...

Ma'am, what is it that you are truly after?

Why does it have to be so hard?
You’ve left my broken heart
Why do I put up such a guard?
We’re here falling apart
Love me gently. Mind your screams.
You never could have known
Tears fall down in constant streams.
You chill me to the bone
Watch me turn away from you
Beg me not to go
The smoke surrounds me far from you
Up high is where I’ll go
Can we save this bleeding heart?
Is it worth the fight?
My heart says “Let it fall apart”
And maybe it is right.
What’s the point of this charade?
Round and round we spin
I’m dying where my head has laid
Please forgive me of my sins.
Why does it have to be so hard?
You’ve left me here to die
You’ve played your final hand of cards
So now I say goodbye.

There’s something magical about 3AM
It calls me awake almost nightly

Sometimes I’ll sit outside then
Just to listen to the wind dance

It’s peaceful there in the calm
I can feel that peace in my soul

I don’t discount that comfort
Because it’s few and far between