you are...
a question i cannot ask
without answering another

What is it for?
All this turmoil, the inner battles
I have with myself each day to try to keep floating

What is it for?
And what is the point of floating anyway
If it causes these controls?

What is it for?
Do I even have to be what I am?
What  they  say I am?

What is it for?
All my life's work to be seen as a life wasted


Unsure and confused
About what it's all for.

My brain's a puzzle -
and my feelings

the pieces

Deep dark sobs
Of decades long
hurt and pain
Churning in the sacral
Threatening to release their torrent
Seemingly from nowhere
To overwhelm oh so completely,
But for now
A mass of
Confusion
Anger and
Sadness
With
Nowhere to go

why is it that these
emotions
give no warning;
feeling of nothingness
and
meaningless
envelop my every
cell

what does anything
matter
nothing means nothing
my breath has no
weight

Something about you
it’s like fire unite with water
From crescent tears to shallow minds
a cosmic feeling that's one of a kind

I know I’ts wrong
I know it might take long
For you to accept
the forbidden roses I bloom inside your heart

With sharp edges I try to be soft
Be naive
Be dense
Yet at the end
it all doesn’t make sense

This feeling is wrong
im not suppose to feel like this
Not suppose to drown in your ocean
The oceans of enigmas
that hides in your cold enchanting air

Question marks all over my head
All hanging in one thread

It holds my heart in one loop
Of faith and hope
Of love and hate
And the questioning fate

Maybe i love you
yet the soil is grey

Its too late to bloom.

you appear in my dreams
and the moment i open my eyes
you're faceless in my mind

do i know you?
that depends
i always forget how the dream ends

you're not forgotten
but why can't i remember?
you're like a dying ember

spark your flame!
show me who you are
tell me of your scars

i still cant remember
my head is aching
my heart is breaking

all you'll be is
faceless
as time passes

i'll never know
who am i to interfere?
to me, you were a man who was once here

faceless
over and over again
til the next dream then