I'm sad and hate who I've become
Everything is caving in
Because I'm all out of options
I don't know how to win

And if I'd face the awful facts
For one day in my life
I'd see that the only way out
Would be to end everything with a knife

Hope is shrinking
Light is dimming
Walls are caving in
and everything seems to diffusing into blue.

It's all heavy and dark
draining and enveloping.

And all I want to do is put a pause on life
to make everything stop moving on
dragging me along with it
as the abyss is plunging me
in like a dark hole.

Under dramatic
Anticlimactic
Words left unwritten
By long dead hands
And real horrors
Come in dreams
Chase scenes
Creeping things
Without respite
Without avail
Nightmare endings
To day dream prose

I miss you
my beautiful beast.
My angry muse;
a perfect reflection
of who I once was.
The last time I saw
the pale lines
that made up
you,
I lost it.
I was convinced you'd
be the last person I ever saw.
I was convinced
I'd die with you
clawing your way
through my brain.
I couldn't get away from you.
I didn't want to;
until I did.
Until I called some
friends I had not yet met.
They wanted to show me the way.
They wanted to know if I knew the way.
I did not my love.
I tried to tell them I hated you.
I swore I'd rid myself of you
but I always felt invincible
when you were killing me.
I couldn't stay away from you long,
could I?
When I felt I had failed,
when I knew it was over,
when it wasn't,
I felt sorry for myself.
I felt alone.
And we're not meant to be alone.
No-one's meant to be alone.
That's why I picked up where I
left off
when I returned to you.
They thought they'd flushed you
out of my system.
But no,
I know
where to find you
when the pity party
has come to a close.
Call it luck.
Call it fate.
But I needed to taste you,
and then to hate you,
one last time,
before it was
too late.

I'm caving in
So small none can see

Yet a glimmer of your image
Shines through my mind

Pushing me to grow
Into a beautiful flower
Extending my leaves and petals

Attracting butterflies
Attracting bees

They mirror his stinging words
His actions hurt me
Diminishing my image of you

To become so small
None can see
That I'm caving in

I know you're scared to death.
Of your whole world collapsing. Caving in.
But I also know that you almost welcome it.
So we'll just keep chasing the Brightside.

And the images of the horrors you've met.
You've held on to them.
I know you used them to break your skin.
But we'll just keep on chasing the Brightside.

Life is what you'd expect:
Lies, lies, lies, and more broken promises.
And I know that your joy won't outweigh your disappointments.
But we'll just keep on chasing the Brightside.

So you're writing poetry.
Not with pen and paper but with your every breath.
And I know that you welcome death.
But we'll just keep on chasing the Brightside.

From the rooftops I will scream it.
For love and now death, I've wept.
And I know that I won't forget.
But for now, I'll just keep chasing the Brightside.