I am tirelessly tormented by black thoughts that mercilessly mock
shame and scar my broken body.

My worked worn bones bend
as I will my bruised body to rise on shattered limping legs.

I’m forced to lift myself off the cold cruel ground once more.

I climb out the grave that
I
decided to dig.
While a dark hazed figure tries to bury me alive

I see the cold shaking hands of insecurity shrouded in a dark cloak standing by my side

As we look over the pit I escaped.

I intentionally let a sadistic smile slip. Laughing with an unwavering stare.

I grabbed his  old steel shovel
and filled my grave

M.O.I

She had already witnessed an entire lifetime pass her by as a speck of dust, believing that she’d been buried when the wrong people saw past her and walked away.

Little did she know, although she was small and insignificant to some, as she rose from the ground in which she settled upon, she realized she wasn’t just the dirt at her feet but a seed, waiting to be planted.

That she had been wallowing for far too long, allowing the absences of others to define her but never seeing the importance of her presence in the moment.

She wasn’t important because he had told her that she wouldn’t blossom, she was disregarded when she was too much, too difficult and too broken and yet here she is, digging up her own grave and planting herself again.

I'm afraid,
That you're gonna see,
The way I feel,
I want to just leave it be,
But you open me up,
In ways that you don't see,
I'm encumbered by feelings,
I can't accept,
I guess I'll be leaving you,
Filled with regret.

There's a part of you that still grows,
within me
But you've been buried deep in soil,
beneath me
Every day, I encounter,
the thought of our possible future
But maybe that was the world's way
Of telling me you weren't meant to stay