Do I still take your breath away or has that power expired?
Leave me to my own devices because I’m growing tired
And for a little while you lead me to believe you’re done
Until the moment I start losing interest in which direction your feet run
And I say I no longer care but we both know it isn’t true
Honestly I do not give a ****...
About anything except you
The only thing ricocheting against my set of bones
Is your name bouncing like drumsticks on xylophones
For once I get to perform our song
Music to my lonely ears
Skeleton an instrument producing every note brain hears
Have my mutilated perception record melody
When finished play it over so I can sing off-key
And leave on your doorstep to remind you of what we had
When I am done realize I still feel just as sad
And screams bottled up press on the walls of my insides
Threatening to expose the place heartache hides
Slide shapeless secrets even deeper down the *****
Drowning damaged moments in a mess of distraction and dope
One
Two
Three
I count numbers to ground racing thoughts
Break the anxious flow in a failed attempt to untangle mental knots
I will go to extreme lengths to relieve madness in my mind
Waiting for comfort desperately needed but can never seem to find
And my own flesh torments with mocking memories
Using tattooed ink for leverage to ridicule and tease
A traitor amongst body parts equally writhing in despair
Breath inhaling solitude coursing through the stagnant air
Lifeless eyes exhausted from overwhelming cruelty they view
You put up careful facades but ******* is easy to see through
X-rays of faithful adoration reveal commitment a disguise
Well-rehearsed remorse when stripped is nothing more than lies
And crumpled promises fill the trash can with empty words you said
Same old disappointment cuts
Blood staining hands bright red
Stomach full of excuses violently crammed down my throat
Those plus dead butterflies swell causing my tummy to bloat
My heart now lies in throbbing pieces scattered across bottom of my soul
In the exact spot you used to reside within my chest is now an unfathomable hole

...

it's your fault people are worried about me,

no, it's my fault, i asked,
but you answered,

the wrong answer,

not even a proper answer,

i feel so toxic, ***** in a way,

i miss you, i miss us,

i want to cry again,
im tired of holding it in,


it hurts
...

My heart longs for your comfort.
Why did you leave me in an
Unfavorable time?
Could you have not stayed for a while.
I'm angry with you.
You didnt not bid me a farewell

I still have hope to seeing
You again. To be with you
In our afterlife like
I wished you promised.

I see you in my dreams
But I wake up with nothing
I know you are happy to where you are
I wish you hadn't left me the way you did

I will be strong for you.
I will always hold onto our memories.

Love is a fickle thing
I wish and dream
But it will always be the same
I’ll always be someone’s second choice

I fight against the depression
That this life brings
Yet the only way I can fight
Is with you by my side

You drown the voices
Keeping them from the surface
With your joyous laugh
And your goofy personality

Being near you
I rarely ever feel sad
But when you leave
It hits me like a tidal wave

I crawl into a corner
Begging and crying
For just one chance
To be the one you love

But I know it won’t help
There’s no way I’ll be
The first choice
Of your heart

My heart craves you
My soul craves you
My whole being craves you
But you don’t crave me

I’m alone forever
And I understand this
But I don’t want it to be true
All I need is you

But no matter what I do
No matter how much I want it
I’ll never be what I want
The first choice

I’m not even in the running
I’m not even thought of that way
Yet I crave to be
The first choice

But it’s all for nothing
I will only be viewed as a friend
I’ll never be what you are to me
The first choice