coffee breaths -
warmness tickling
my winter cheeks

Between the fissures of our existence,
there is a moment where we must all
decay into a garden of eternal beauty.

But for us to collect on the petals of
our demise, we must surrender.
Yielding to our fears of eternal silence.

We are all but a breath from our inevitable
decay, but we still try to water dead roots
that'll never grow again, dead flowers to ash.

Were prettier when were still, vacant allotments
of thought that'll never regrow. Where just a
moment of death consumed to never live again.

We mourn our final expiration
                         never realizing,

That we were decaying from
                       our very first..

Dilapidation upon a
                         very first breath..

Dying from the moment we were born.

today didn’t go as i planned.
i lost control around 10:00 am
when i felt as though a lung had collapsed
i had to take a (not-so) quick breather
in the stall of the girls bathroom
where i sat on the cold tile floor
i wanted to cry but no tears came
i wanted to scream but i couldn’t make a sound
i wanted to call you but then i remembered
so i sat there surrounded by the emptiness
only sound was my heavy breathing
and the a.c. clicking on and off occasionally
i wish i could do that with my emotions
turn them off when i get too cold

I was waiting for the sun
With midnight I drifted off into the waves
The seamless sea wrapped me up
As I swam in between the cracks
That made your smile run

And when the only thing you can hear
Is the sound of my breath
You’ll know I’m alive enough to sink
Below the surface of your fears

And I would drown to save your soul
Even if you pushed me down
Because i’d wait for the sun in your eyes
To gaze into mine and a burn a hole

I was willing to fly away
But you made me swim instead
And now I’m caught up in a net
Where the light would never come again
Somewhere in your heart
Where there’s nothing but dark stars
I would be waiting for the sun
To light you up again

sometimes my pain
is yelling at my family
not even remembering why
sometimes my anger
is crying in my room alone
being careful not to make a sound
sometimes my sadness
is standing in the rain
wishing it would wash me away
sometimes my depression
is lying in bed and wanting to get up
but not being able to lift the chains
sometimes my breath
is stolen from my lungs
feeling all of this at once
sometimes my mind
is numb and empty
feeling nothing at all
sometimes im just... there
not feeling anything
but not feeling nothing
and sometimes in those moments
i wish i was dead.

Mountains is the dead skin
Upon a once red surface
Come on in
To the cigarette lips

Gravel is the breath
Sometimes shaky
Come on in
To the cigarette lips


Murky is the soul
Once you touch them
Come one in
To the cigarette lips

And join us in infinity