Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Sam Harris Jan 29
January 25,

Im grateful he messaged an escort during my panic attack
I’m grateful he was acting weird with his phone
I’m grateful he kept me up all night till 6am drunk
I’m grateful he slammed doors yelling at me
I’m grateful he screamed in my face while wagging his finger

I’m grateful I questioned him
I’m grateful the escort cooperated
I’m grateful his brother warned me about the drugs and drunk driving
I’m grateful there were no accidents
I’m grateful he was so drunk I could check his phone

I’m so incredibly grateful that the escort responded in the morning so I could see it.
I’m grateful the escort answered my call and consoled me

I’m grateful I was shown and got out
I’m grateful I was so badly mistreated on Canada Day
Otherwise I would not have been suspicious
I’m grateful your family showed their true colours
specifically his mother’s blinded and dangerous loyalty.
I’m grateful that I can function

I’m grateful after considering all this, I now know I do not need closure.
Closure was him messaging an escort. Closure was him continuing to prioritize himself after being caught.
Closure was me prioritizing my safety. Closure was accepting that he is in fact an abuser despite his outward disposition.

He’s an abuser dressed like a butterfly: flighty, scared and beautiful. But he was really a moth eating away at the fabric of my life.

I’m grateful for my resilience and strength
I’m grateful for my friends and family

What is best for my soul is to wish you well and live my own life.
I wish you well, please don’t do this to anyone else.

I would be grateful for that.
I am sitting on a leather sofa
In front of me a low oval wooden table
On the table a glass
In the glass some whiskey
In the whiskey some sleep
In the sleep an oblivion
In the oblivion some solace
That You could have given me
By not drinking the whiskey
By not getting high
By not abusing me
By not getting killed
By not sending me to jail
By not depressing me
By not making me a drunk
By not making me drink the whiskey
In the glass
On the low oval wooden table
In front of the leather sofa
That I just left
For good
For our home
For another leather sofa
Where we made love the first time
Where we fought the last time
Where your eviscerated body lay that day
Where asleep now lies another:
A helpless little body commemorating our dead love story.
seem to forget all the places I’ve gone, still remember
all those I’ve loved – while our dreams still attract my
imagination; dressed in your night gown.

the breath of a lover’s skin still tingles even after she’s gone;
yet it would be the older version of me, teaching the young –
that even the ones with a bag of ***, still carry their baggage;
that even with a bag of tricks by your side, a better man will
make your best love, seem so average.

trading paint over our skins; just to paint a picture of a future;
a man finds joy in knowing he’s the present suitor – though if he
can’t dress the part of her life, please don’t shed tears when she
finds one that suits her.

but maybe I wrote this for all the losers – perhaps, “you sir”

so said the man looking at himself in that mirror. third wheeling
their love as a chauffeur. he once took the financial risk of finding
love. an entrepreneur – yes, “you sir”

           didn't plan to lose her, but hey there, Mr Loser.
cash Jan 14
My heavy arms lifts and lands on the empty space in my bed

My finger tips left cold without your warm skin to connect with

Bloodshot eyes slowly lower, lids coming to a close

For the millionth time I remind myself, this is what I chose

With my windows sealed tight, reality wears thin

My dreams fade into light, at first sight

Green and purple and blue and gold

And in my arms it’s you that I hold

We laugh and catch up, it feels like old times

But even in my dreams, you have a streak in your eyes

That streak is what scared me for all of those years

And that’s all I need to keep the door closed

For the millionth time I remind myself, this is what I chose
Jay Jan 14
Breakups don’t make sense to me. Am I just supposed to feel nothing now? To erase all the time we spent together, the memories etched into my mind, the quiet promises whispered in the dark? Am I meant to set it all on fire, pretending you don’t cross my thoughts with every breath I take? As if love is just a fleeting phase, something that vanishes as easily as it began. Am I supposed to suddenly hate you, to force down the feelings still rooted in my chest? Forget the warmth of your hand in mine, our fingers laced together against the chill of the world? What about the dreams we built, reshaping our futures to fit one another? Is “moving on” some sort of magic trick? Or is it a spell no one’s ever taught me, some dark art that hides the ache beneath tangled overgrowth? Do the feelings ever really die, or do they just lie buried, choked out by weeds where flowers once bloomed? The silence left in their place is deafening, and I can’t understand how hearts can simply unravel. How love, once so vivid, can close its eyes to everything it defined. How am I supposed to walk away when the echoes of what we had still call me back?
I want to be the ghost
That haunts your every move
Each car that passes too quickly
Every song thats meant to soothe
Reminding you of the way I sang it when we drove for ten hours straight like we were gods

I want to be the apparition
In the corner of your eye
The laugh on the other side of the room
Who you want to comfort you each time you cry
Thats always out of grasp just like breath was over spring break when all we could speak was in nods

I want to be the hallucination
Every time you go to sleep
In the same way you haunt every day and night I'm awake
I want you to tiptoe around your memories the way I creep
But really I just want to know you hurt the way I do, even though in the end it was my fault you no longer respond
Y'all I'm still not over him
Bree17 Jan 3
you've returned
to my shore
like the tide
wanting more

my mind
fast asleep
sees your face
as we weep

my chest
dully hollow
in your absence
I now wallow

I've returned
to your shore
like the tide
wanting more

your grasp
holds on tight
chained wings
can't take flight

hand in hand
****** mess
but numb hearts
don't break less

we've returned
to this shore
like the tide
needing more
I wrote this about some of my friends who keep going back to the people they love that have hurt them.
Also to anyone going through this, you aren't alone <3
In the distance I can hear fireworks
Explosions of color
Echoing something new
No fear but excitement and wonder

I'm tired now
Of the blandness in each day
Or the color that fades too quickly
Never staying like they say

I miss the brightness of your sun
Though I said I'd stop missing you
There hasn't been a day I didn't picture us
Near again like we could be something new
He told me he loved how
I could put my reality into words
and now
they're all about him

He told me he wanted to be a romantic
have words flow out of him like birds
instead of caged and frantic
little did he know that's all they ever are
Next page