I spent this morning telling myself that I meant something to someone.
Saying to myself that I could handle today.
Saying to myself that I could handle my thoughts today.
I don't like to lie, but It helps me stomach breakfast.
These self therapy sessions over coffee aren't helping me at all.
Sipping on the bitter truth leaves an aftertaste of self doubt.

But I still tell myself that everything is okay.
Because one day, maybe everything will be.

You were like breadcrumbs
left unpurposely by my digestion during breakfast

You stayed on the kitchen table 'til noon,
'til Mama swiped away the remaining crumbs,
and I have lunch
with another dish--a different meal.

Something else, but not
you.

mining liquid ice, cream vanilla something
at dawn, sugar, fat, whipped smoke rising hope
better than hate at breakfast, face etched snarling
a circuit ******, roll and tub down *****
slippery, thumbed a feast of biscuit crumbs
off a plate, table and at feet. Arrived
at loathing a choir rabid, sings morning.

Sometimes,
I find myself doing something
So minuscule
So mundane
That somehow my mind wanders to him
And I feel my heart break
A freshly cracked egg,
Just right for breakfast

Let me stretch my tired bones,
Let me yawn roar,
Let me drink the last sip of my coffee,
While I look one more second at you interacting,
Before I join you at the family breakfast table!

I am.  So there.  



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCLIX)


What? as firs whisper hoarsely to th'exhale,
Winds howling down the chimney, sirens thence
Lo, chasing which or whom on Sunday?  Dense
Cloud racks are peach, grey-blue in tow, the pale
Eye of these empty hours with what detail
I feel now in my bones?  Don't ask me whence.
"*** off yer soapbox."  Silence culling sense
Unto the 'fore as I'd talk, where is bail?
She'd post th'espresso break with this note fer
That: "necessary." I said yes, I knew.
Post Raisin Bran for breakfast...I had two.
Ne fancy artwork on milk's foam in tour,
I'd savour that, and feel the boxes'd stir
My lecture 'til he...walked away.  What's new?

10Mar19a

Calming with the softness of your skin,
Sated of my hunger for your kiss,
Nourished by the state you put me in,
Feeding this soul’s appetite for bliss.

Craving delicacies of your eyes,
Sensing sunrise warmth of your embrace,
Mornings such as this I energize
With anticipation of your face.

Awake to the honey of your tongue
And fluttering eyelash on my cheek,
You’re the morning hope of day still young,
You provide for me the love I seek.