S,
     I'm sorry.  I don't think you understand how horrible I feel.  I just don't love you like that.  I feel terrible.  Because your such an amazing person, but we just don't work together.  I like to take things slow where you like to try things out.  I like to sit and have conversations with strangers where you like to sit and read a book.  I like hanging out with my friends on the weekends where you like staying home playing video games. And it *****.  Because I truly, deep down, deeply care about you.  And you're so sweet and you make weird but hilarious comments and you're great to have around.  Which made this so much harder.  Because when I wanted to be friends I truly meant it.  But I know that you're going to avoid me.  It happens every time.
      So I'm Sorry that you lost the opportunity to become friends with me. I'm sorry that I hurt you, and I'll never admit to it but I ask all my friends that talk to you if you're okay.  I'm sorry that you heard me talk for hours about my anime and my current music obsession.  And I'm sorry that I have anxiety and depression and I disconnect sometimes, and i'm sorry that i have to be alone to reconnect.
     You're an amazing and beautiful human being and you deserve so much more than i could ever give you.  Thank you for that Mulan marathon and pans of junk food we made.  Thank you for making me life until I was crying.  Thank you for you, for being your true authentic you.
                                                                                            -H

We used to be XY and **.
We had it going.
The alphabet had purpose and biology was preparing to do the right thing.
It was all good and warm and morning always came with a smile.

Now we're just Xs.

After all this time, do you still look into her eyes and try to see mine?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
She loved me and sometimes I loved her too

In feelings now past, she was my sunrise
Just as stormy seas whether stone to sand,
This love wore thin; words becoming disguise.
Gently mourning a future now unplanned.
Tenderness slowly turns to apathy.
Ocean reaches for the moon; crashing waves.
Dams of kindness yield to brutality,
Flooding thoughts; love sent to watery graves.
Whispered words of want become nothing more.
Fading feelings ask: Does true love exist?
Hearts with open wounds, not broken- just sore.
How many more sunrises will be missed?
Memories, impossible to forget.
Yet, even the most brilliant sun must set.

I keep waiting to feel something,
Sadness, grief, destruction?
Anger rises up and ebbs like the tide
Did this Queen lose her King?
Or just get off of a roller coaster ride?

It was hot and it was bright.
But it ran fast and then died.
And I know I was right.
Maybe that's why I haven't cried...

Because my small still voice whispered in the nights.
When his breathing settled low.
That it would be hard to keep this one and my rights.
And when the other shoe dropped I thought gloom would grow.

But all I felt was sadness...
sadness for him and all the losses he would feel
Because his anger is remorseless.
Because his tenderness is masking righteousness.
Discovering more darkness the further back you peel.

I almost loved him
That much I know is true.
But when you are punished for wrongs not committed the future grows dim.
So our fiery love hisses out and the embers go blue.
All because you could only think about you.

Only when it's gone have I realized the special things I've lost
Having you explicitly with all of your heart
To hold you close to me in a warm embrace
To be able to talk to you and look you in the face
To spend those nights with you sleeping at your side
Too many times have I denied

Only when it's gone have I realized the things I loved most
Having you close to me and never apart
To do those little things that make you smile
To love you without apprehension or denial
To be open with you without trial
Too many times have I been so hostile

Only when it's gone have I realized all of the mistakes I've made
Having done so little to prevent us from falling apart
Not listening to you with an open mind
Allowing myself to fall far behind
Not helping you when life became so entwined
Too many times have I been so blind

How I regret so much for the time I've ill-spent
How sorry I will be as I begin to repent
For taking your love for granted.

Here is my heart
For you to take and abuse
Here is my body
For yout to misuse
Here are the sweet words
That I now know were lies
Here are the tears
From all the Good-Bye's
Here is my purity
That you tainted with your name
Here is my soul
That will never be the same
Here is my time
That i wasted chasing you
Here is EVERY single I Love You
That now has broken me
Here is ME
Here is Me
Here is me
That is nothing without you

And so she leaves, what we were behind
And somehow expects me not to mind.
We weren't together but I'm still not fine
In this world, where she's not mine.
From all our plans, she walked away,
And now I'm alone, on this bleakest day.