Pained intake of breath
Hot air against my cheeks
You’re wrapping white cloth over my arms
I’m watching red seep in like ink bleeds

Faintly, behind a splotch of black
I see your eyes grow wet
And though I am barely holding on
I can feel the tremble in your fingers
And an echo of a voice
Calling my name

You’re desperately trying to push paper into the wound
And I’m feeling myself bleed out despite your efforts
You take me to a doctor but still I leak
Transfuse your own red into me
But it just leaves through my eyes and makes me feel weak

“What have you done to yourself?!” you cry
And I sigh through a fit of tears
You’re trying to take the pain out of me
And i'm disappointing you with every breath I take

Just like you cannot will another moon into existence
You cannot love someone out of an illness

I sit with my back to the wall
Hazy gaze on the wall in front of me
In the distance there's cries and shouts
My eyes are falling
My mind is somewhere else
Floating watching someone else
That's not me
Those aren't the words i meant to say
I lied so much I cant tell whats real anymore
Everything goes so slow
Yet the time ticks by faster and faster
Dread builds up in my stomach
Someone asks me for a dollar
But I can't find my voice to speak

I exist in the midst of
the ruins of myself, and
the stranger I have become

The day greets me with its
aching loneliness forcing me
to suffer through its brutal hours

Even in my dreams,
I am still being crushed  
by the heaviness of the night

And I do not know
if I can bear to see
another burning sunset

What you see is before you
is a groaning animal that has
forgotten it used to be human

With flowing words,
simply seeking the pleasures of being,
and an immense love to pour

By god,
I could have sworn that
I have felt the joy of living once

But now, I cannot bare
the agonizing sound
of my beating heart

My mind is a shrieking graveyard
that is too freighting to visit alone

Sometimes,
I hear the skulls of all the people I
have ever loved rattling inside my heart

I do not know how to quiet
down their wailings at night

I have nothing to offer them,
but my dripping pain

Alone, I weep,
lamenting their forgotten laughter

She said baby pick your poison
We'll silence all the voices
we'll **** the Paranoia
we're hopin'
we're hopin'

We don't know where we've been goin'
but I know that we've been glowin'
we're rollin'
we're rollin'
we're floatin'
we're floatin'

Shorty you and I was getting high and living up the moment
saw your eyes and they had me feeling golden
oh hold it
Didn't know where it was goin
I'm broken

I'm not one to tell a lie, my cup was overflowin'
hit my line a couple times and I was falling
for it
Falling
oh ****

I just want to freeze this moment
I just want to hold it
I just can't leave this moment
and now I'm frozen


I said shorty pick your poison,
all the **** the we were smoking
all the fear and all the loathing
Wasn't loving only coping

And I been feeling so numb
pale skin n frozen blood
nicotine
in my lungs
falling in and
out of love

And I know I ain't living right
but you know I'll pull up when it's right
and I won't deny I'm living quiet
on the low
dreaming coast to coast.

She said baby pick your poison
We'll silence all the voices
we'll **** the Paranoia
we're hopin'
we're hopin'

We don't know where we've been going
but I know that we've been glowin'
we're rollin'
we're rollin'
we're floatin'
we're floatin'

and she's been living on the low
said baby pick your poison
if it's me then I'll be goin'
if it's me then I'll be goin'

I Can't accept the truth baby, ignorance is bliss. I can't escape the memories of all that this is. Rather let them fade away to champagne thrills, falling off the edge of abyss.
Rather let them fall like I fell for you. Like the ashes, burning off of this cigarette.

Cause I knew it from the start.
Every second, every time. I knew you'd break my heart every time we spoke a rhyme.
I knew it'd fall apart.
Couldn't say that you were mine.
But that's just want I want to say because I know it's time.
So ask me how I feel.
I can't tell what's real.
Insist that we would fall apart until you sealed the deal.
I wish you said loved me like you said you used to feel.
and I wish youd call me baby
cause you know I'd hope it's real.

But how can I love you if I never loved myself? Like everyday I wake up wishing I was someone else.
Cause everyone I know has seen a better side of hell.

And you know I fall apart, in the darkness by myself.

Is any of it 𝒎𝒆?
                                Am I lost in the In between?

                                       I keep asking myself
                                   "𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆?"

                        I'm stuck between 𝖜𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖌 ​and 𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

                       In a world that is b̸̭͓̏̚l̸̨̔͐a̷̺̮͗̄̑c̴̛̪͕̿͛k̸̡̨̹̔͒ and 🆆🅷🅸🆃🅴

                                         And I  ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶  know

                                   ̶I̶f̶  I can'̶t̶  win this 𝖋𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙.