"Where is this going?"
you ask me, breathless

I know you are inquiring
about the next 5 minutes
but I cannot help but consider
the next 5 years
as I spill out words
that affirm the next move
you have been patiently waiting to play
for months

and the word friend
flashes in neon lights
behind my eyelids
as I think about your arm around my waist
in the bar just a few hours before
and your mouth pressed to my head
aggressively whispering
"Stop."
on the way home
when the heat in my chest
started to build
after looking at your phone

"We'll talk about this later,"
you tell me definitively
and so in the cold December air
you tell me that I deserve better
and that you do not deserve my suppressed tears
that might freeze if they fell

As you turn on the lights
so you can see what you're doing
I lie in your bed
now knowing
what it is like to be in a relationship

(but please don't use that word)

It's bad
It's hurtful
It's something I don't believe in

It's deceitful
It's disrespectful
It's something I don't believe in

It's upsetting
It's ridiculous
It's something I don't believe in

It's different
It's tempting
It's something I've done

Lips so full, they bleed scarlet delight.
Abundant with jade beauty, her eyes are my sky..
hips rides me gently, as I hold her tight..
she moans my energy, and my heart does so moan her's simultaneously.
legs tremble in a quake, mind in love scream ****** ecstasy..

With the soft knocking
of your palm against my fingers,
the door into my heart,
I think not-so-carefully
about letting you in

And as I move to the threshold
I find the door already slightly ajar
so I reach out to touch you
and feel your heartbeat move through my veins

You don't touch back
but do not move from beneath my hands
and I know you are telling me
to take it slow
because my favorite thing to do
is run when I'm told to walk
and I always feel
as though I'm running out of time

I take a breath or two
and do not look at you for too long
in case you disappear
while I am too busy blinking

You always know what to say.
I was so lost, in the streets of the abandoned.
And then one day, you came my way,
You sat down beside me, took my hand and
said, "What I would give for another day."

I was left with a choice,
My heart no longer hell bound,
Feeing stuck.
I remember the day my heart drowned.

"It's okay," softly spoke Zach.
"I love you to the moon and back."
When I had said that, his eyes brightened.
He leaned in and kissed me, my throat tightened.

"You are unlike any other girl I've ever met. It's true."
I looked at him, why?
"Why? Just because you are you."
I felt like I could fly.
Tears slid in my eyes,
If I spoke, I would cry.
I felt so at peace.
This love we shared,
should never cease.
"I support you through every rough decision you have to make."
A smile grew on his face.
"And my heart is yours, in which only you can take."
Which ended with a hug, well embraced.

He loves me with an innocence
So far behind his thirty years
That it should be a sin
To call us blasphemous
As many have.
It's in the way he breathes as he sleeps;
He is easy and fluent in his being.
I am at a loss for words tonight,
Though I speak to him as he rests.
He is as still as a coma patient
Yet somehow a smile creeps across his lips.
These are the wonderful things to me.

Every minute
Of every day
I trudge on to make it to this moment:
His heartbeat in my ear,
My hand on his rounded hip,
Love in our hearts.