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Zywa May 2023
You say: attention
is the most loving thing
you can give

I answer: carefreeness
is the most loving thing
you can have

It often eludes me
Then I lie awake
because I can't do anything

as long as there are no certainties
no current measurements and slices
for relief or a new plan

I want to try everything
to gain time
exhaust all my strength

adapt
and save who I am
what I'm worth

my head full of purplish blue fragrance
which turns my feelings blue
Blue Bluish blue
For Maria Godschalk

Collection "On living on [1]"
Nigdaw May 2023
a possibility the machine is broken
a pause, a stutter
a halt in locomotion
sometimes the parts wear out
not made for the harsh road
travelled
sometimes a weakness will shout
to demonstrate a need for slowing
but after all we've been through
to be betrayed
this far on the journey
I'd chop you in for a new one
if it weren't for the fact
I'm human
Has shame dried
Cranberry bogs
On cotton
Have hormones peaked
Or have the eggs spoiled,
Turned rotten
Is there more to a woman
Than her ****** functions
Or will she do as she's told
And remain in her place
On the bottom
Zywa May 2023
Shall I still caress

him, stroking through his thin hair?


Will it make him bald?
Novel "Ik ben er niet" ("I'm not there", 2020, Lize Spit), page 366

Collection "Shelter"
Zywa Apr 2023
He's lying there weird,

his body is not sleeping --


it is left behind.
Novel "Ik ben er niet" ("I'm not there", 2020, Lize Spit), page 267

Collection "Shelter"
I S A A C Apr 2023
DNA
my body carries a river of insecurity
causing floods upon innocent harbours
insane membranes, complex DNA
nobody is wired the same
no candle burns the same
but they all end the same
ratgirl Apr 2023
Evil, sick and twisted boys.
If you like me, if you love me,
Then why do you want to hurt me?

Is my pain release for you?
Can you only feel the ecstasy of intimacy
With your hands so forceful on my neck,
Or with teeth deep in my flesh,
Until I'm sure I'm ripped apart.

Hold my hands behind my back,
Keep them tight above my head
So I won't push away when it hurts.
I'm someone's daughter,
I'm taking it like a good little ****.

Can you tell that I like it?
I worked really ******* it all for you!
And when you touch me so harshly,
The parts of me you like so fondly
Will never again feel quite right for me.

Is it okay to mutilate me?
Must I sacrifice such sacred parts,
And call sweet blessed love a surrender
Of everything that makes me sweet,
Of what's required to be complete.

I write these words on my jean pocket
And carry them around like an omen,
Boy's wont want to touch me then.
irinia Apr 2023
"The mother's heart is the child's playground."

i have one story to tell  to me again and maybe again, i caught myself dreaming the boundary between the energetic darkness and the travelling light. this vital story  when the mornings were pure the nights full of unknown beings, the rib cage the only space i knew rippled by the vital waves, by dread, incomprehensible vibrations, the beat of my heart unprotected, the horizon had not yet been invented, nor the sisterhood and brotherhood.  pain was an incessant falling into the void, the desire infinite, my body shattered into vital fragments, a misattuned orchestra of delight and terror (body-mind-reality continuum forever broken). at the crossroad of deadness and aliveness i was stamped with fire and water, i was an imaginary being without limits. even now i use a strange language and visions of the infinite haunt me, i taste life when i confuse myself with you and her and him and them, so that death is not incomprehensible. i was once a pool of vibrant nothingness, this terrible pain of life crushing itself inside the flesh, of reality and imagination, longing and despair annihilating each other.
my body carries patiently the invisible tattoos of vibrant scars, she waits for me to learn how to love the simplicity and the serene fullness of life. all i need is more words, new vessels for the infinite desire, more "i" in this i from the imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.
louella Feb 2023
what do i have to bear?
an impromptu regression
to the form i was when i couldn’t feed myself
now i wander on the fields
connecting roads to their familiar destinations
i don’t want to feed myself
the sustenance that enters is a formidable beast
a creature who desperately longs to hurt me
my stomach hungers for a substance that won’t dictate the afternoons i have.
passed out upon a feathery bed
hands clutched to my stomach
as it groans.
when will the nightingale wake me up from this nightmarish disorder?
as though he isn’t already dead on my windowpane
i forgot to feed everyone else in my unbridled purge
once my life ends will i figure out that
the storm can mirror the looks of your body
and it’s not you?
if i saw a glance of my reflection
in the same pool that Narcissus did
would i drown myself because of all the hatred i feel towards myself?
it’s not me in the photographs.
oh, nightingale where do you rest?
the bird of sweet song

2/18/23
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