it was a sunny day when i first met you
you were glowing and shining
just like the sunflower and rainbows
and butterflies and all the good things

but then it turned cloudy
when i caught you laughing with her
in the cafe next to the campus
i start to think about myself
and how i treat you and how
i'm doing wrong to you

suddenly it was raining
you decided to hurt me but
with no explanation at all just like that
you broke my heart and just like the other day
i found myself feeling guilty
thinking what i did wrong

one night it was a thunderstorm
i decided to open up and told you i was hurting
but you said she was just a friend
and i guess i accepted that
because strangers turn to friends
and friends turn to a more complex relationship
sometimes and then turn again to strangers
but with memories

weeks passed by and it was sunny
with rainbows again and sunshine
and clear skies just like the old times
but this time was different
i decided that i didn't want to be hurting
any more and then you set us free
i let go and you let go too
nicely, kindly, peacefully
and i learn that this rainbow is somewhat nicer
than before because i realize
rainbows come after a storm, after a rain

i know that when you're gone
all it does is rain
but there's no need to worry at all
because rainbows come after that
so enjoy the rain and the
thunderous nights because you know
rainbows come after that

– billiondays

today i woke up feeling superly enraged
again, numerous of problems that i have to face
faking smiles, making strong words, so people would trust

today i woke up wishing i wasn't here, in this house
i don't know maybe somewhere else, not with this family
yelled at, cursed upon, always told me i'm lazy as ****

little do they know what i wonder at night
when i'm alone in bed, staring at the ceiling
or even during the day, basically anywhere,
"am i lazy? nah, i get things done, how am i lazy?"

little do they know how thoughts swarm my head
right after what they do and or what they say,
"i need to calm myself, what should i do?"
and then grabbing a laptop or a paper to write

you know, if i was lazy i wouldn't be grabbing anything cause i would just cry or yell at people but then again i'm not as calm as what personality tests describe me: "just like water"
yeah, you mean, "easily wrecked and one touch finishes all"

today i woke up feeling superly energized
energized to work, to do things, positively,
and then it instantly drains me, like sugar rush,
last but not least, energized to ****, who? myself

– billiondays

this is not a poem.
a poem should be aesthetic and rhythmic,
and beautifully arranged in some ways,
unlike this terrible unstructured writing.

this is not a poem.
but i just wanted a platform to write,
to express my feelings in words,
so here i am, on HelloPoetry.

this is not a poem.
specifically not that heart-wrenching
love story you would expect,
just a casual self-loathing one.

this is not a poem.
this is some ****** writing.
this is a person puzzled in their own maze.
this is me, aren't you too?

– billiondays

i have an unpopular opinion
the title there is now, call it:
musician, programmer, writer, designer, editor...
this is me. this is all me.
i'm no master at one, i'm no jack of all trades,
i'm master of some.

you see,
this thing doesn't make you who you are
you can't be defined by your careers
or even your hobbies.
they're supposed to complete you
and make you whole.
not some competition who gets what the best
don't sweat it, you have your own path

you like making music? good. you're a musician
you like programming? yikes. you're a programmer
you like writing? nice. you're a writer
you like designing? brilliant. you're a designer
you like singing? awesome. you're a singer

only you can define who you are
you're not what others tell you
you're one-in-a-million
you're human
you're you.

– billiondays

it’s funny you see
we didn’t ask to be born here
to this place or this family
but here we are
with our nation pride
and cultures that shape us
with friends bonded as time shared
and burden of our legacy

we are all learning and growing
to become our best selves
fighting against climate change,
and every environmental challenges
we are here to tackle these problems
into shaping a better future
for our future generation
and for ourselves

this is why we shouldn’t question where
we came from, which economic group...
we are all the same, living in the present
we are the ones who will continue to shape this world and this very nation

so please, care a little too much.

– billiondays

one talks, one listens
never both, concurrently
perhaps share one distance
and frequency synchronously

one apologises, one forgives
for one makes mistakes and
amidst understanding, lives
as love shall forever stand

two learn, two grow
reason, never row
and you and I show
how far one could go

– billiondays