But how do I communicate
a word that lacks an English translation?
A feeling so essential to my well-being?
One that this
culture
denounces,
dejects,
despises
so easily,
Without changing what I look like in your eyes?
Hesitation of true affection

Amae, I want to share with you.
A home, not a house.
The mother's loving concern.
The safety of knowing that it is okay.
You'll be there and I
presume you will.
And this gives me shivers to imagine;
indulgence of security.

But that's codependent
Check the DSM-V.
I think the APA is wrong.
I challenge over 137,000 who seem to agree
that my need for people is
disorder,
disease,
debilitation.

Because I can see through a window in my heart,
that shows me a world coexisting;
once realized
we need each other
because we are human.
We want to live harmoniously, in unison.
I want to care of my fellow man.
I am celebrated for aspirations
of massaging the soul,
fixing the whole,
dedicated to them all.

Why is it so wrong that some days,
I'd like to be on that side of the spectrum?
Amae, Amae, *Amae

Cierra la boca,
Mi dulce criatura.
Estas hambriento
Lo puedo notar.

Mas hoy no hay comida
y, yo lo presiento,
No la habrá en un tiempo más.

Cantaré un rato,  si eso es de ayuda
Siéntate quieto en éste lugar.
Olvida el hambre y duerme profundo
Sueña que en un banquete estás.

Basta comida, música viva
Corre y ve con el general.
Dile que en casa los niños suplican
Por una mordida

                      Del más simple pan...

***translation

Close your mouth,
My sweet child
You are hungry,  
And I can tell.

But today,  there is no food
And I can just feel it,
There won't be
For another long while.

I'll sing a while, if that helps a little
Sit down still. Right  here,  beside me.
Forget the hunger, sleep peacefully
Dream that you are in a feast.  

So much food, and lovely music
Run to speak to the General.
Tell him,  back home the children are begging
For just one bite

                 Of the plainest bread

Vibrant yellow back
Defiant black streaks
Deceptively cute

Solid almost artificial blue unlike the sky or ocean
Speckled with the night
Assuming an artificial rainbow

Small eyes that radiate innocence
And an equally built body

Your diet is of alkaloids
Psychotropic substances
You use them to protect yourself
Psychedelics have brought you questions you'd rather not answer

I've indulged in the natural poisons
I can see beauty in harm, purpose, necessity
But if I let you be, I know you're no danger to me
Though, I'm a little too late

You're delicate and I am clumsy
You've warned me not to get to close, I’m bound to get hurt
I yield to what yearns to cradle your amphibious nature,
so unique to a monochrome world

Physicality is your weapon
An open wound lets your corrosive membrane transfuse my blood
You flood me
And oh, I moan. Action potential discharged, the sensory impulses to my brain.
You stop feeling slippery in my hand as I begin to rust

Little one, you escape my hands  
But I am paralyzed

Thickened blood, what went so wrong
Tender in touch, I didn't hurt you
But your defensive, corrosive skin reflected your inner malintent

Black mamba venom indisputably pierces the skin
Harsh betrayal of curious wonder
Black widow toxin, an unblunted destruction of the dermis
But you came in celebrated color

How am I to trust visual credibility of sinlessness
You're a poison dart frog
When the beauty that once enticed me
Has hardened the sanguine essence that filled me with vitality and awe

You are my love,
Mi corazón,
Mi vida.
The ruler of my world,
Mi reina.
Although our love is not typical,
Tu me dijeste te amo
And I believe you
because you are mine.
Mi chica.
And I, yours.
You say that one day,
voy a ser la desposada
But my dear,
you will be mine too.
*Casado bajo el ocaso.
Te Amo.
Siempre.

The television screen illuminates
the mahogany walls of His Holiness’ office
so different and distant from Marta’s casa in Iguazu,
Argentina, her handwriting in Spanish,
pleading the Holy Father from cheap paper,
to return and attend to his people.

On the screen, he sees the Garganta del Diablo
exploding in what the headline calls
‘Biblical-style’ deluge.
But He knows that the devil’s throat
spills out a more subtle evil than flooding:
a secret hatred,
disjointed humanity,
greed and gluttony
and outpour of passion of futbol
rather than prayer.

My child, he writes,
these falls bless the earth--
only God causes the floodgates to open
and only together do we feel holy presence
in the river’s spray.

He licks his finger, turns over the page,
and decides he needs not write more, besides
Que Dios bendiga a tí y a Argentina.
As the television flashes scenes of his pueblo y futbol.

Ich will keine Ausreden brauchen
zu bleiben oder gehen;
ich will nur die Fähigkeit haben
zu bleiben oder gehen als es mir beliebt.

-

I don't want to need Excuses
to stay or go;
I just want to have the Ability
to stay or go as it pleases me.