I have a taste for cowardice men.

Men who tell me how beautiful I am,
How pretty,
How nice my hair is,
Or how great my body looks,
Under the covers,
Especially with them on top.

Men who cup my hands
And look me deep in the eye
peering into my soul,
to “cherish me”
“Remember me”
“Learn the curves of my face”.

But I know these cowardice men-
they will forget me.
As soon as their lust is lost.
As soon as their **** has learnt me..
All too well.
As soon as she rears her head.

I know these cowardice men
Will hold me, in the night
Almost pushing me back together
After the last,
Who left me.

But these cowardice men forget,
I can’t love me,
Not anymore.
Because loving me makes me think,
Of happiness and who I could be.

And I forget,
For a little while,
I only fall for cowardice men,
Who never say bye when they leave.
Never blink in my direction,
They just leave the door wide open.

Wide open for the next.

do you know the loneliness that resides within?
do you see the sadness tainting my gin?
do you feel the blackness of my sin?
would you let their darkened sorrow win?

of course you wouldn’t; you’re a warrior—
strong and tall in the face of adversity.
everything happens for a reason, you say,
and you believe in god.

all i want right now
is to be like you.
all i want right now
is to think like you.
all i want right now
is to be strong like you.

but, instead, i crumble.
i fall to my knees and mumble.
my thoughts run wild and i tumble
into the bowels of thunder that rumbles.

just when i want to get better
the thoughts come back to get me.

and now i am trapped
and i kiss Misery’s feet.

If you're working against a better future for all of us, I will, without hesitation, walk all over you to make the best out of a world on fire.

just lie down on the smooth soil,
and rest beneath these grey clouds.
feel the rain pound your body,
and listen to its rhythmic sound.
You breathe in and out,
the sky capturing your breath,
but for once,
you do not notice,
and your veins dance with life.
you are calm, as the vines creep beneath you,
slowly pushing, tearing at flesh that was once theirs.
plants begin to burrow through your skin,
sprouting out your mouth,
your chest,
your arms.
Blooming up to the calming sky,
flowers stealing your life away,
so you can rest.

When these words turn to songs and symphonies
and you're just a mental stain
you'll regret the way you treated me
and all the things you've said
I'm destined to do it big
and even if I don't
I deserve better and I'll get it, cutthroat

do you see it in me?
I don't care if you do
I've wasted so many days
wondering about you

so I'll close my laptop shut
and hustle through the night
I never believed in me
I never felt quite right

but the pain can be channeled in ways you don't realize
and the gain through it all will be my pretty prize

Let it flow, direct it, connect it, project it
don't let anyone else's opinion affect it
you're perfect, you're worth it, rebirth it
trade nothing on this planet earth for it
and then give it all back to the world, return it
got a bad thought? do what you can to deter it

You're meant for more than you're willing to tell
make sure you take care of yourself
only shower in hot water and affection
stop hanging yourself
on unreturned attention
if you're unsure about someone
focus on you for awhile
and when you're feeling at your lowest
force a brilliant smile
it will get better
as long as you leave bed
emotionally dead
but steady getting ahead

I don't have time for petty pursuits
And you've taught me that most people don't tell the truth
so my course of action
is the opposite of you

I'm so done with praising others
raising them above
with my love
a surrogate mother
the umbilical cord rots
knots block off outside approval
I've got the tools of the trade
for an at home removal

The squirrel hops from one tree to another.
Not a care in the world.

I don't want to watch
Your blush fade
It's like watching the sunrise
While your friends die
And the palettes
With all your paints
Will eventually stain
Like blood in earth
On forgotten battle fields
Where we kissed
While the sun rose
And I overdosed