do you think, when god created us,
they immediately realized their mistake?
the angels must have hated us
they should
they do.

imagine being the perfect epitome of a being,
only to be cast aside for those who create nothing but unbridled chaos.
"it’s what makes them perfect"
they said once, when one of the angels asked about it
"the chaos?" Gabriel asked
"their humanity."

i'm convinced none of them understood exactly what “humanity” means,
and we don’t either.

the day that i reach the end of the road,
when i meet earth, and my soul is the only thing left
and it just so happens
that the god I write about turns out to be real,
i hope they let me ask this question just once

At my age I lay here awake 3:00 AM on a Thursday Morning yet have to learn to remain still and allow The Lord to help heal my body from the chains of perdition that are constantly rattling at my feet. Fighting to bind me once more to allow my carnal self indulge in Earthly pleasures with a very short temporal joy and comfort that certain actions and activities allow us and our carnal bodies to become either energetic, overly happy, *****, obnoxious, sympathetic,  lethargic, drowsy, unable to maintain proper posture to stand, odd quirks, excessive laughing, unusually hot or cold, euphoric, nervous, hyper or nodding, hypersensitive and lastly grandiose like feelings with boosted self confidence and shift changes in overall mood. For Thousands of years plants and herbal medicines have been created to aid nurture back to health the pain and suffering of the patient must use medicines especially the pain killing medicine administered and prescribed to people suffering from a bad car accident or a serious life threatening injury leaving them in constant excruciating pain needing to take the pain medicine for managing their hurtful pain the person must endure to heal yet only time can slowly heal things like such...the part that Doctors  tend to leave out of their strict warnings about the medicines potential of abuse and alarming rate of people who become hooked to that mellow, easy warmth euphoric/dreamy/drowsy/slightly off balance feeling.  Brings them a temporal time of peace joy and comfort...yet that feeling is the high provided by the medicines form of functionality throughout the human body. Slowly other drugs with similar potential of abuse is high are MDMA, *******, Methamphetamine,  Synthetic Drugs, Nicotine and Alcohol.  Ever since these Drugs became available in the streets millions of people turn to them use them and abuse them to temporarily create that sense of inner peace, fictitious joy, temporary solace, and take the way we feel and block us from displaying our true feelings masking our pain with a temporal method to not feel that pain and suffering if need to be able to alleviate those feelings of terrible pains become bearable to endure. All the other drugs I mentioned earlier also create a what may seem a solid foundation to stand upon to heal your stress, problems, certain circumstances and last but not least our spiritual struggles we carry with us.  This medicating yourself with narcotics to balance and repair what the doctors have finally concluded I as a Mental Patient suffer from the Disease Of Addiction. This is only a mere example of the millions of other addictive behaviors and irresponsible acts we tend to try out to feel as if we are no longer prisoners of what our own minds hearts and bodies desire...yet this is exactly what we must avoid doing to ourselves because is not only wrong to do is unhealthy and has dire repercussions towards our life. Our focus should be figuring out how to spiritually grow up more become a more pure at heart, gentle, genuine, loving towards all, loyal, honest, servicing towards the elderly and disabled, helpful, overall well mannered, respectable and clean. The struggles we face on the daily are for man mainly 1.Females. 2.Finding Comfort 3. Finding Peace 4. Learning to be spiritually still and hear God's voice and gentle guidance through our daily battles 5. Finding Balance 6. Finding Strength & Hope 7. Remembering to put God always first in everything on everything in the presence of anyone 8. Prayer changes things unseen yet to the human eye for this gifts are slowly unlocked by practicing to use our extra sensory energies 9. Denouncing the World to be able to Live beyond this physical Life 10. Seeking God with all your heart mind and soul listening and obeying his commands directed towards your individual path of faith

Be aware we become desensitized towards the right things and our vision becomes blurry with heaviness settling in our eyesight the adversary tries all day and night daily 24/7 and yes 7 days a week to someway separate your relationship with our Lord making us stumble with traps and snares hidden in our lifetime blueprints learning our likes, dislikes, what we love to do and what we hate to be doing...then formulates ways to somehow interrupt your spiritual journey and provide you that same worldly temporary escape from my problems and refocus my energy on doing worldly things because when the Devil has us running around doing everything he asks of us to do you know daily day by day night by night slowly but surely that your body mind and soul quench for the presence of God thirsty for his water and hungry for his bread. The day is yet to come when I completely delegate myself to NOT ever use drugs again. Nevertheless, I am counting on God's hands and divine plan to finally click with me and start to work on it building the pillars of my faith stronger bigger and evermore beautiful. Knowing that he will never leave me and always and forever forgive my constant sin and nagging transgressions to be blurted out washed away by the holy precious sanctified pure and perfect blood of Jesus Christ. I am far from where I should already be but am no where close from where I began so thanks Lord am grateful to you for everything and everyone who choose to believe in me and allow me to vent it out. To God be the glory honor and everlasting supremacy and it's power to delegate perfect judgement upon the wicked generation of children who have given their lives to serve themselves their God and his system. I am not judging them at all am simply pointing out the obvious but yet even in a fog of thick darkness a state of profound sin and constant transgressions being thrown ed to God's throne he can still save them and shoe them the Light for they are lost souls without the Lord. I believe is never to late to say to yourself with dedication and a sincere open heart fixated on change...then God will for sure work on you till you become part of our sheep once lost now found by the Great Shepherd Herder Of Lost Souls.  No sin is bigger than my God to handle. Remember that as long as Right fights off Wrong in your mind and heart still speaks in that secret tongue bestowing knowledge and wisdom with Firm Gentleness and Loving with an open heart...forgiving with sincere intentions but last and of radical importance to communicate with the Lord via Prayer ... and at least once or twice a week fast and utilize that fast to pray with extra emphasis on the lost ones out there seeking to be one day spotted by the Light Of God.