Stop and bore into my eyes
You’ll see the mirror never lies
By the time you know I’ll sense your danger
I’ll be looking into the eyes of a stranger

in this expanse,
painted sky dripping its
dinner-plate-scraped hues
of honey,
and pyramids.
I am breathing, alive,
filling my chest with
air sped past
delicious and addictive,
keeping my lungs drunk with these
gulps of a larger place.
untied, peering out
from above the road,
I open my arms.
let them course through
the quickly fading sights.
a myriad of life
spreading out
constantly
in every direction.
land that races
out hazily for
hundreds of miles, unfolding.
anonymous houses
and storefronts.
their distant windows
flare white light
metonymy
for those inside them.
orbs, wavering
they glow with
want,
and misery
and parties and days
and nights and
faces.
they glow,
whispering their
familiarity of
distant things.
I reach out,
grasping inanely,
for any of it
all of it
at once.
and like sand,
I let it sift through.
become my glimpse,
my smiling passerby.
A memory to be forgotten-
it shares a brief dance
with the wind, twirling,
silently lost in itself
for just
a few
breathless
moments.
before becoming truly lost
in everything else
beautiful that is
left behind.

She put her head on my lap,
As we continued to laugh,
Talking serious but subtle,
You told me “I like you”,
I was speechless again.
You took the words from my mouth.

I woke up, crying tears of happiness.

I found you then at a catheral,
A celebration of sorts was held.
My current friends wearing black,
My old friends wearing blue.
You were facing opposite our friends.
I saw you facing the ones in blue,
And as I approached them,
I started to cry once again,
With tears of suffering and pain.
The people in black comforted me.

I woke up, angry and bitter with tears.

I found myself in the future,
We were walking side by side,
Acting as if nothing happened.
I tried to confront you again,
With why you’d left me hanging.
You laughed and asked “What?”,
Then I tried again and again and-
You ran away.
Left me alone.
I knocked?
No one answered.
As if strangers once more.

I woke up crying with my dream come true.

Stroking with delicate fingers
Over your temple and through
Your thick hair,
Brown as the wilted trees of winter days,
You cry to me.

“Who am I?”

Silenced by my inadequacy
To respond to your tears
And the disgust of your vulnerable
Weeping call,
Mountains of shame carried within.

“Do you love me?”

You wail softly to my rejecting ears,
But of course I do
But of course I don’t
Who could love you?
A fading light of which shone so bright.

“Help me get better?”

Naked
Vulnerable
You cry out for someone’s helping hand
But you only have me
And my snide plans to **** you.

“I’m going to **** myself?”

Good.
Go.
I’m sick of you.
Tired of fixing your mistakes
Only
For you to **** up again.

“Do you miss me?”

I did not hate you, lover,
I despised you
Every time I looked in the mirror
I saw
You,
Your whining face,
And moaning heart,
the figure of my torment,
The figure of your torment,
With thighs scraped and tortured,
I remembered what you were.
What I was.

And then you died,
And then I was born.
Better,
Stronger,
No longer defined by your mistakes,
A Phoenix from the ashes,
I could,
Breathe.

Goodbye, to the lover I left Behind

My greatest fear, I've just now found
Is not of snakes or dark
It's not of even ghosts or death
Or of pain that leaves a mark

My greatest fear occurred to me
While I was out with friends
They wanted to go out to eat
But my curfew made that end

They said they might go anyway
For time was fading fast
It stuck me then, just standing there:
My fear, I saw at last

My fear is not of hurt or pain
It's not of lonely sorrow
My fear is getting left behind
While the world goes to tomorrow