I handle my children as if they might disappear.
Sometimes when I am holding them,
My face pressed to their hair,
My hands around their little fists
Like so many eagles
Cloak their nests
In feathered wings,
I feel their edges start to blur
As if pulled by a strong hand
Through a silver curtain.
“You can’t have them!”
I yell at the space above their heads.
“They’re mine!”
And yet I feel the weight of being gifted
So many treasures that
I don’t deserve,
That I try to earn.
I handle my children as if someone might come back for them.
Speaking to me sternly, they will explain
“These are too precious, too rare,
For you.”
But I would not let them go.
I would come after them.
Charging like a lioness
I. Would. Come to Them.
Through every burning flame
And every mangled wreck
And sterile hospital bed,
I. Would. Run to Them.
Dragging both legs
And seeping blood
And holding the heart
Inside my chest,
With my own two hands
I. Would. Crawl to Them.
I would die for them.
I handle my children as if they might disappear.
Clutching their tiny bodies and all their edges,
Holding them in, keeping them whole.
I wrote this a couple of years ago when my babies were very tiny, but it remains true, always <3
