Every 60 seconds someone dies from an eating disorder
But even with that scary reality I just can’t bring myself to recover
Water fills up my stomach like an ocean,
and my sickly brain just causes so much commotion
my hair just comes falling  out
I lay in bed all day and just pout
People tell me to just eat
Man do I wish it was that easy
When will I ever feel loved?
When the dress fits me like a glove?
My brain tells me that I have to take up less space to matter
But when Is enough enough, Is it when dinner is just an empty platter?
See, I look at others girls of all shapes and sizes and see beauty
But why is it so hard to see that in me?
Why did I have to go through all the things I’ve endured ?
i don’t know but I want to one day be able to say that I conquered.

In the beginning
mothers are god
and it's impossible

that this goes well because
they are ordinary mothers
not always all you need

from heaven and earth
and your father is the example
that you have to search

for beds of existence yourself
because of an evil fairy
who throws problems

with every birth
So you have to travel
to find what you are missing

to finally discover
that you don't miss a thing
if you realize what you have

and for the rest
just can be
there

i felt miserable,
the crushing self rejection,
that a lover cannot fix,
the acceptance of being what broke you before.

but,
i stopped,
and realized i wasn’t alone,
for i was surrounded by garnets.
Twinkling, beautiful, crimson friends.

maybe it’s not so bad after all

The day I understand what it feels like
to love,
embracing “empty”
as I do “empathy,”

when "compassion" breathes among
those who embody that space with "passion,"

that a dream realized can also mean
something else doesn't have to die,

will I welcome such miracle?

Behind the heavens,
life and death, a tone,
Behind the heart,
a butterfly dancing,
In the end everything is simple,
as simple as a leaf that one holds in one’s hand,
as simple as the laughter of a child.

--And,

After picking her beautiful
jaw  up, off the ground
over the shock-blast of  realizing
that  she (after all of these years)
   had been  finally seen..

there was a shuffling  noise
that I could hear in the background
over the phone..

and I couldn't tell  if it  was her--

scrambling to finish  filling out
the restraining order she started
last week

or maybe  
just  flopping around  in the dark
in her search for the block button

But perhaps..  just perhaps
she is running upstairs  to find  for herself,  
a dry pair of *******

Or better yet,  in order to
race into her room,  her clothes--
strewn,  in a wake behind her
in her overwhelming  need

to knock out  a whole series  of
wildly uncontrollable, release (s)

Strange how it is
that  far too often  these things
can go either way--
yet either way, sweet love

your beautiful jaw
will never again,  be the same

Xo

A powerful peaceful mind keeps the heart of an enlightened sacred soul.

Alive.

Knock on a million doors,
and ask each man if he is good.
Be not surprised by the multitude
that qualify for sainthood.

If all it took was a man’s own word
the quarries would be emptied
building statues in their honor
on the corner of every street.

But many men who say they’re good
are at fault for quarrels and wars
and allow their addictions to run rampant
while they ignore the hungry and poor.

Just as the wisest of men
knows that he does not know,
so the best of men will answer you
with a firm and resolute “no.”

Keep record of your faults
don’t lie just to impress,
and tread carefully in the company
of the men who would answer “yes.”