People do not come with a
paper back book filled with
things we will learn to love.

We figure out who we are
from the ones who are around us.
From what we read and watch.
People are confusing and hateful
I thought we were Gods children?

But who am I to be talking.
a  atheist of some sorts.
I myself do not believe in god
but those who do, shouldn't be so
so serious.

A book written long ago
should not be taken
to heart.
It should just be a guide
to people who are lost.

I am lost
yet I do not believe.
I will find my own map
someday.

An hour of terror
lost, and fighting.
Even under the eminent cerulean sky
the truth of shadows remains.
Light means nothing here,
where tumbleweeds turn to wolves,
and the slightest brush
is enough
to scare me from my skin.

Enough is enough!
In fear and no faith
I cannot face these demons again.
They say He'll save me
and tell me to find the light
but all he is, a godling,
the origin of this fight.

Sandy footsteps turn to pounding
against the hard porch steps of my nearing tomb..
Match and gas
Gas and match
and a shaky grasp.

I stop, run my fingertips over the veneer of the stair
once more.
Flick.

My liquid savior kindles so quickly
Flames engulf the world
But wait,
still dark..
He's here.

The light from our eyes left
And started burning bridges
Jesus came off the cross
Even heavenly love has a limit
I'm tired of the rat race
And now I just wait for a finish
I know that God has left
Cause we were made in his image.
Heads with crooked smiles, two faces
Rubber necks on high horses led to collisions
A way of love built on a foundation of hate
Hypocrisy is just mental division
It might be a cold sun or four horsemen
But I won't wait here for him to end It.

The preacher said, "Bow down before the will of Him who has made you, he knows all, he is everywhere. He is always, he is after  and before."
The prophet said, "He will redeem you."
The alchemist said "By His will all your ailments be gone."
The poet asked "Where is HE?"
The man asked "Where was he when such befallen me?"
The woman asked " Why is my virginity for the giving of men i dont know?"
The philosopher said "I'll argue."
The doctor said, "Why couldnt i save?"
The survivor asked, "Why me?"
The dead were silent.
And the air whispered in their air, "Even He doesnt know"
Reason cried "He is not!"
But faith sobbed "Dont let me go."
And life simply scoffed "Do whatever."

I was raised Catholic
In a world of Eucharist
And the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
Baptized before I could remember
Given a white dress in the second grade
To receive a piece of a man I didn’t understand.
Sunday school used to give me headaches
Too stressed to admit I didn’t believe
Too scared to see through the lies.
The day I walked out forever
I was told my birth control was abortion.
A man told a room full of fourteen year olds
That his girlfriend killed their unborn child.
As if he had the right to force a woman
To put her body through something
She couldn’t handle.
Religion has become less about love
And more about guilt.
Children are hiding parts of themselves
Because people tell them they are sins.
Priests speak with razors that cut
And we are the ones left bleeding
I see God’s light as a flashlight
As priests and preachers torture out my sins
I may not believe in God
But I believe in people
And I need to know if
Religion will ever be a good thing.
-JE

As a boy I was lost and afraid
Ashamed and scared
Every bad thing that every happened
Was god
Every urge was a sin
Demons possessed people
And the Devil lurked in the shadows
As a boy
I believed
I wore a necklace with a cross
For protection
As I aged
I gained more knowledge.
I wasn't so afraid anymore
I had doubt, although doubt itself
Was sin
But I didn't care
I was tired of praying..
Atheism.. my savior
Science the prophet.
I was tired of seeing so much hate
And hearing "god loves everyone"
I no longer feared eternal punishment
For living how I wanted,
Doing what I felt
Mistakes no longer condemned me..
They helped me learn
And that is all.
I wasn't afraid to live anymore
Atheism empowered me..
It humbled me.
I am but a speck of space dust
And that is grand in all means
Amazing and uplifting
The wonder
The unknown
If there is a god somewhere out there..
Thank him for atheism.
I'm no longer a boy..
But the cross necklace
I still wear..
Not as a sign of absolute
But as the torture device
That is religion.
My reminder
Of the prison where I once dwelled...

Stuck in translation
Such human frustration
When something goes wrong
I will write you a song
It’s true that we’ll never
Believe you for long
If I write you this song
Will you feel I belong
No I never will see you in heaven
Nor will I  see you in hell
I will just see you right here
While you’re currently alive and well.

The existence of love was never a belief to me, sitting on the shelf right next to God and happy endings
collecting dust and fragments of all the times I thought, "I don't want love to be real, but I think I love you a lot."
Imagining what it really means to be held and to be blanketed with a warmth that is warm inside and out, without being harvested in a ***** cold, dying out like bare trees in the December seasons, that shudder and shake the chips in their shoulders until the sleet can fall off.
It's like walking until you reach a point in the road where you don't know where you are, where you're headed, why.
And it doesn't matter in the slightest.
There is nothing left to say than I love you, and that I don't believe in ghosts.
But you haunt me even when my eyes are closed and my ribs are moving in slow motion.
I wish I could kiss you even in my after life, and if heaven exists, I'm going to look God in the eye and ask him why he didn't give you to me sooner.
And then I'm going to tell him that all I've ever wanted was you.
No golden thrones. No pearly gates. No velvet beds.
Just satin skin wrapped over the bones I hold so dearly, as close to my heart as I possibly can.
I don't believe in love.
I only believe in you.

i lost my faith in magicians when they started pulling blades out of my pockets instead of doves and white rabbits and ribbons shakespeare used in his plays

i lost my faith in teachers when the tests they set grew to be not tests of my math skills but tests of my mental stability and insomniatic abilities

i lost my faith in families when inanimate objects and quixotic creatures shared my grief and forced me to learn about blood versus money as deities

i lost my faith in doctors when they decided prescriptions should be more than just about healing positively

i lost my faith in god(s) when i was offered a rickety ladder right after i prayed for strong feet