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[email protected]$k you life and the bitter taste you leave me,
All I ever did was try but words for this escape me!!
>Pain Locker<
Locking my pain in this box [ ] ✔️
Suicides on my mind..
I wonder what it's like?
That care free eternal darkness...
No more chains or emotions,
Just a lifeless carcus.
Fed up with being down at the bottom so often,
Rotten from my date of birth..
Designed to fall from this earth..
Lost confused and forgotten,
Feeling like nothing.
Worthless and unloved..
Fed up with this life...
I'm so close to the edge...
All I need is a shuv...
A push or a touch...
Depressed in my bed...
Try to sleep my troubles away..
Maybe these pills will help?
Or maybe they won't..
I feel to go and dance on the train tracks,
Like grandad.
I used to think you'd watch over me,
Hopelessly... I was wrong.
Your dead and your gone...
You left your daughter shattered in tears..
And her son to pick up the pieces..
No help or support...
A devoured report..
Three attempted suicides my heart has been crushed..
The queen of my world reduced to not much.
******* life and the bitter taste you leave me..
All I ever did was try but words for this escape me..
So suicide is on my mind, that blissful quiet exit.
No more monetary madness no more prospect of being homeless.
I toss and turn the idea round and round my head..
Am I better off alive? Am I better off dead?
This world is harsh and cruel but I can't take my life..
My little brother needs me and so does my mum.
Endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt endless hurt
We as humans,
Always have the need to express ourselves.
So do I.
Living this lie,
Had to get it out.
Could have expected.
Maybe,
I shouldn't have put that paper in your locker.
A stream of strawberry argot
and swift her auburn hair
let her shoal uptick in sluice
only a cheeseburger made grace
as her mamilla bare her cheek in crest there
if the goat made milk for perfect cheese
where she must have peas too
that keep her neat and trim
and with her dessert of ice cream
when she'll delight in luxury bob again.
Dream Fisher Mar 2017
I remember all those terribly awkward years
In a time capsule that dropped me right here.
I'd stay up with an unplugged microphone
Singing some songs about being alone
Writing so many poems of being unknown
How everyone looked so perfect,
They had a plan that seemed perfect,
They weren't like me, they weren't like you.
Masks of perfection that made me feel less than you
Questioning all of the life we've been through

I had a combination to a lock I still know
Even if it's to a door, now unknown
Down the hall you can find me, number 345
studying chapters in books on how to feel alive
Then graduate, jumping off that high dive
And we splash, knowing nothing
Praying we don't drown
Sick from the vertigo of a planet spinning us around.

Everyone looked so perfect,
They had a plan that seemed perfect
Just like me, just like you
With a mask having each the other fooled
Questioning how they made it through
I'm so perfect.
You're so perfect too.
My plan is, I haven't got a clue.

— The End —