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Frances Marie Nov 16
I can't focus on us anymore
it feels like a dream we once had
rather than a lifetime we worked on

You once made me feel precious,
invaluable,
loved.

Now I'm the fall back and safety net
you need to desire
before you hit the bottom of your bottle

I am miserable trying to hold the foundation alone.
I was looking for a life partner, not a freeloading liar.
You promised me change.

I was the fool who believed you and saw with my own eyes
you didn't touch a drop.
Now I'm left with the empty bottle in my hands,
searching for an escape from my isolation.
raw emotions from recent relationship in the middle of the break down.
neth jones Sep 7
Gordon maddens coils under the high ceilings
  solitary in his three rooms
with his cello and window sill herb box
with his art ideas  employment as a film extra
and drink   fought  at bay  daily
see also :   battling off the ghoul of his perished father
his other and waging with his ****** bead
his aging kingdom    sensitively approaching seventy
early version

03/10/23

off his gourd

Gordon maddens under high ceilings
solitary in his three rooms
with his cello and window sill herb box
with his art ideas
and drink at bay daily
Moony Oct 2023
There is a monster under my bed.
Hauting, screaming, hurting me.
It talks to me every night.
I believe it doesn't want me here.
It screams and cries, acts more like a child than me.
It smells of the bottles in the glass container.
It stumbles up the stairs.
It opens every window, let's the cold winter frost in and hopes it freezes time.
Instead, it freezes me.
I wait, behave, hope.
I stay silent so it doesn't notice I'm here.
Tomorrow it will wake me up.
Tomorrow it will attend a parent-teacher conference.
Tomorrow they will praise it.
"You did a good job raising her"
Tomorrow it will turn into my mother.
Tomorrow night, the monster returns.
Hastfan Nov 2022
Dad
Dad heard but never listened
Looked but never saw

Time spent was time wasted
And silence was our loudest talk

Money given was always taken
Reclamation for timeless thoughts

Dad went but never waited
Answered but never called

When time was there for us to talk
Dad drank,
and silence won once more
CJ Sep 2022
I am the most sincere
whenever I tell them “I’m here”
when they’re feeling lonely
and most definitely needing somebody
But I cannot do anything
if they keep going missing
when it’s my turn
to need them the most
I just turn to my champagne
and
to honor my anguish,
raise my glass for a toast


-c.s.
fear the unknown Sep 2022
Liquid sand can create liquid despair
Aching
That distilled poison seeps through
Tainting
Stinging my skin when you touch
Burning
My eyes swell, disappointment or fear
Hurting
neth jones Jun 2022
Man enters the tavern                            
Claps down some cash and outbursts ;
                                                       'Thirsty Things Firstly !'
The barman evaluates his condition      
And provides a session brew

Man tilts toward potential company
(a ferrety bloke in the shadows)
"Pull up that stack of milk crates        
                 And halve a heart with me"
(he earns a quick friend                      
                         in a tolerant stranger)

Soon fellow gaspers fill out the gloom
And an eve of humour descends
Though soon upending
Gourds downed the gullet
Sunk ugly into the scene
The tippling wit drags the night
              to the Slurry Pit

things turn Psychologically Rugged
his Mates soon round on him
bulldozing at the Elbows
saying he's a Cheapskate
they Berate him with rigorous Rattleprat
he's been goated with the Cain's mark
they tousle his crown malicious
Thorough in his cups and eaves
he mumbles and leaves
heaving up bile words
unheard              
gurgle
over
his
shoulder

outside is dark and harsh
Outside the whole wild world does wail and weary
drunkenly
he sings to match its melancholy
but sadness lifts with his altered view
he sees 'a flock of moons' weigh down the sky
and natures churn                                    
                     makes a phosphorescent stew of it all
... decay                        
                 to lifes' celebration
'to see a flock of moons' is an old saying meaning drunk

USES PARTS FROM PREVIOUS POEMS

decay to life (first part)

the scentless winter over
snow melts            
evacuates into the ground                        
                   under Spings attention

Springs arrival elevates mood
alleviates the heart halved by Winter

our strained eyes are relieved
                                  with the dismissal
of reflective snows

'thirsty things firstly' ;
from the groundswell and sponge
the air is steeped with earth ;
decay to life
Beau Scorgie Apr 2022
Hit after hit
head under water (inebriated)
unable to swim,
I choked,
unsure if by God's hands or my own.
But by God I swallowed it all
then begged for more.

I sank until my feet hit the bottom
stirring the sand around my legs
then upwards.
The ocean floor obscured,
my vision obstructed.
Desperately I swiped
in vain,
and swiped again,
but still the obstruction remained.
And God laughed
and I choked
either by God's hands or mine,
by miracle or design.
Am I Him
or Him me?

Seething with questions
sung and unheard,
then yelled and ignored,
I finally lay myself to rest.
A deep sigh escaping my breast,
I surrendered to rest.

Sleep overcame me
and I dreamt of pearls,
that one day this heaviness
would give birth to pearls.
But alas I awaken
and in my night terror
I had stirred the sand again.
I do not remember.
God let me remember.

I dream of pearls
and of pearls I dream.
Yet still am I to awaken
to this dream.
The sand begins to settle
but the hand stirs again,
never lain to rest,
the obstruction remains.

Sometimes I see glimmers,
gleams and glistens
of the pearls I've only
seen in my dreams.
And by God's hands they gleam
as they always did.
But my hands became rough
from the sand that stirs
and I fear to ever touch,
a pearl,
to ensure that I never
grind her back to sand.
For God shall laugh
and I shall choke.

"Stay sleeping, little one.
Dream of pearl,"
He said.
And deliver He did
oblivion and pearls.
I know this feeling all to well
Waking up liver hurting like hell
So i reach for the bottle
The only thing I know will help
Reach out. There is hope. You can live a normal life again free from your addiction.
JeanT Mar 2022
I hear the screams of profanity in your drunk voice from that night

The beating of your fist against the truck window

My own voice pleading for help

The faint sound of blood dripping onto the hardwood floor from your knuckles

And yet, all you hear is silence

It’s not the Silent Treatment

The tears in my eyes are screaming so loud

But you just can’t hear me
I  didn’t think I would ever be in this situation
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