why i want to reach this state of life?
i spend my time
my effort
my attention
body and soul
and heart
just to reach this peak
but why?
what is the real purpose of all of this?
did i just chase an empty dream?
everyone congratulate me
but i feel nothing at all
nothing at all

The plan was to be independent
I had my goals written down
My priorities were in check
I was going to follow through
And achieve what I had to in the end
But then **** happened
And my ascetic side was left for dead

All my dreams I trapped in a mausoleum
My spurious persona was in the lead
My new ambitions were kaleidoscopic
They were all wants and never needs
Something new always grabbed my attention
Once I had achieved a thing
Slowly but surely I was being drowned
By deceit and greed

And one day I searched myself and could not find me
I did not see the me that was a visionary
I had missed my way and that was clear to see
I was already in the depths of the ocean of sin when it finally dawned on me

At this point even self-love couldn't save me
And self-hatred couldn't change me
Even self-will couldn't revive me
So I found a coping mechanism
To help me live with my atrocities
Under the ocean of sin.

There will be a point
In my life
In ours lives
Where we go on road trips
And sing at the top of our lungs
to our favourite songs.
Where we take midnight swims and have 3.AM conversations.
Where we will have cool cameras and record cool things
Where we camp out on the beach and watch the stars until it fades into a sunrise
There will be the time
Where we travel the world,
And visit abandoned places.
Where we stay in cheap motels,
even though we'll be rich.
We'll get to go to see our
favorite bands live in concert
And maybe even meet them too.
We will live out off our suitcases
And run in to some complicated situations
We will be spontaneous
We'll write a book
Start a YouTube channel
And make new cool friends along the way
There will be a time
Where we use instagram not to brag
But purely to spread the beauty
Of the moments we capture.
And hopefully inspire people ,
But mostly kids
To do what they love,
Always.
But till then
I'll just sit here
On my bed
And write notes and poems,
Take pictures with my phone camera
And dream way too big
Because this is where it all starts
It all starts
With a few kids
With beautiful minds
And big dream.