4 am
and you're face
and voice
still races
through
my mind

I need someone
I wouldn't be afraid to call at
Four A.M.
Because I couldn't sleep.

He would sing me to sleep,
And cherish the moment
That I cared enough to call.

Midnight comes again
And I blink away the tears
Too exhausted
To chance my needed conversation with you.

At 11:59 pm
You spilled your secrets
And told me you loved her
At 12:00 am, I sat in silence and braced myself
For the familiar wave of despair to hit
But it didn't.
I filled the room with a sigh of releif
But then I asked myself
Will I still be okay at 4 am?

I used to stay up till 6am tying different lengths of material around my neck.
I used to stay up till 5am trying to forget how to breathe for a little while.
I used to stay up till 4am and wonder what you were doing with her at that time.
But now it's 4am and I'm happy.
I met a stranger two days ago and he seems to have completely erased the bad feelings.
The memories.
He's a blank white page.
And my 3am scribbles are no longer pleading messages to god begging for a release.
They are rambles about how this man makes me feel.
And ****.
It's pretty wonderful.

it's 4 am
i'm sad
and i miss you

-You
-
                   
                     









                                                ****.