01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

my love is as valuable as gold. it takes every fiber of my being to create and produce, and once it's soaked up by another human being, it takes a long time for me to get it back. even long after they name me a ghost, all i see is them. this is lingering. this is dwelling. this is the sidewalk fading away while wandering around wonderland. i don't remember how to get over it.

he said
one day,
baby girl,
i'll buy you
the world
sprinkle you
with diamonds
and head to toe
in pearls
you'll dress in
the finest of silks
eat the freshest of foods
drink the purest of milk
sleep under
the most stunning mosaic
on a bed made of feathers
you will lay
never will
a worry cross your mind
the night will never be dark
i'll make sure your stars always shine
never be cold
blankets made of the fluffiest wool
with intricate patterns
made with the thread of gold
your hands will never
feel restricted to give
you can help others survive
support them to live
the orphans, the widows
the refugees, the victims
will always know
who to turn to to help them

you will be my queen
bare with me a few years
i'll make my way to the top
and then rid you of all financial fears
until then you have
my full heart, body & soul
just a while longer
& i'll buy you the world

she looks at him
and shakes her head
takes his hand
makes him sit on the bed
looks him in the eye
and starts to smile
*my love,
my darling,
my reason to live,
hear me clearly
when i say this
i need no riches
i need no gold
for all these are material
you are my world
let paper money
and bank accounts
fly away
and burn to the ground
we'll build our home
with our bare hands
work day and night
sow and reap our own lands
with what we earn
we'll share with the world
we'll laugh and be merry
live together then marry
have children and watch them grow
and make beautiful our own little world

i appreciate the thought
but happiness can't be bought
the two of us together
is enough for me, forever ♡

If you really know me
You should know I worry
If you really know me
You should know I care
If you really know me
You should know I'm ******
If you really know me
You should know I'm not in the mood
If you really know me
You should know I'm mad at you
Only if you know me you should know by now.

Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say

it's looking into the horror-filled eyes of a four year old girl
holding her shaking hands

as she watches her father, her mother
blown to smithereens

it's the family of five
reduced to three

it's the grandmother of fifteen, who is over filled with love
now that she only has six to share it between

it's the cousins, brothers, aunts
packed into a tiny sail boat

who are we to deny the happiness of those who don't think they'll ever be happy again?

who are we to turn away the freedom of people who believe they will never be freed?