1.91667 years
23 months
99.9406 weeks
699.584 days
16790 hours
1,007,400 minutes
60,444,000 seconds

That's how long it's been since our first 'I love you'

I am always so scared, these days.
I mean, I've always been afraid of what
Is scaring me so much right now.
But right now it seems somewhat plausible.
And right now, if it happens, it will all be my fault.

Because all it seems I know how to do
Is break people and run away.

People like me,
We were never taught about
How to love,
How to have a home,
How to be stable.

People like me,
We were only ever taught how to survive.

Which means we run, and we push people away, and we handle all our troubles on our own.

And a person can only survive like that for so long, before they stop being an actual person.

People like me,
We were taught how to survive.

No one ever taught us how to live.

I love you so much.

More than the moon and stars.

I love you so much,
That I would lock myself away forever
If it meant you were finally given some type of peace.

I love you so much,
That I would anxiously give away
All the scars and memories I have
That I'm so twistedly proud of,
If it meant you could be happy.

I love you so much.
You are the air I need to breathe.
But I would gladly
Die of asphyxiation and oxygen deprivation
If it meant you were safe.
If it meant you could be okay.

I love you so, so, so much.

And I know it doesn't mean much,
But I am going to keep my promises,
Even if they're already broken.
I'm going to fix this, us.

I love you so much.
Though I understand if you don't believe me.

I mean, how could you believe that someone
Loves you
When all they seem to do is leave?

I want to tell you that I know that I wouldn't be able to believe that either.

But what you need to know is that I already don't.

Creative enhanced blood cells move within
as I harvest kind words.
They enter the mind to explode
expanding, blooming,
tickling senses to write.

The moon is lit to enhance as
well the sun with its rays bright.
And when it rains moisture touches skin
to anoint cells with boost bringing forth words.

Words to enrich and inspire others
All in the day of a poet.
A poet, who flies in dreamscape fantasies.

StarBG © 2017

Be the girl who broke the moon.

Be the wind. Be the rain. Be the thunder. Be the lightning. Be the fire that swallows the world.

Be the boy who gave it all.

Be the smell of yellowing pages and black ink. Be the clumps of snow falling on a dark winters night. Be the pink of the coming dawn. Be the sunrise. Be the spring-green leaves on reborn trees. Be the sunset and all the wonders of the night.

Be the person who holds it all in their hands.

Be the tobacco smoke drifting off a corn pipe. Be the smell of fog on a long drive home. Be the storm that rains bullets and stardust on old rooms with black roofs but with no ceiling.

Just be.

Be the blue of the ocean, or the blue of his eyes. Be the call of the siren or the stars in the sky. Be the one that knows the truth. Be the one who speaks it loud. Be the rebel yell. Be the heart of gold. Be the renegade fist. Be pixie dust. Be a silver wish.

Just be.

Be more than you ever imagined. Be better than you were the day before. Be who you wanted to be. Be the person you needed.

Be the girl who broke the moon.

How can I possibly be so deep inside my own head and still breathe?
How is there anything left in there for me to think?
The electricity pulses behind my eyes and
it hurts
Like live wires going supernova before they die
It hurts to think
It hurts to breathe
It hurts to be