you don’t deserve to be here. you’re not crazy, your heart is just shattered to pieces far too small to put together again. i’m sorry.

I listen to different music
I read different books
I dress in different clothes
But I still love you

I have different friends
I write different poems
I date different people
But I still love you

I wear different cologne
I draw with different mediums
I play different instruments
But I still love you

I’ve tried everything I could
Everything to change who I am

But

I’m still

falling

for you

I’m still yours
And it’s not fair

"Miles away," you said," We're miles away."
"I want you," I said," I choose you."

You can't
I have to
We can't
We have to
It doesn't make sense
It's the only thing that does makes sense

I'm not sure
if I love you
If I ever did
If it was ever real

Because you see
our days were so short
so long ago
sweet

sweet yes
and when I lost you
I wanted you more
so much that

I dived into a world of
you
and only
you

and for years
years
years
years of my short life

I loved

or did I?
Did I love you?
or just the thought of you?
?

Despite what it means to admit
that there was real passion
and real want
for you

I want it to be true
because then my life
would be
bearable

Maybe even



pleasant

Encased, wrapped by delicate hands,
A gift, for months it had been planned,
For me as a reminder of our connection.

Decorated with glitter and gold,
A deck of painted cards that told,
"52 Things I Like About You."

Colored paper and animal drawings,
A little lovely journal showing,
All the adventures that we've had together.

"You like me. I like you. Let's be together forever.
You were the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Stay with me. You're all I need in this world."

Oh I remember, the thoughts that raced
Through my head whilst in your embrace:

"I want to be with this girl forever.
I want to love her, support her, and be with her
Every moment that I can.
I will stand by her side and take her with me through
Ups, downs and many different hardships.
And we will triumph. Because we have each other.
She was, is and will always be my everything."

I could view a year's worth of memories with you through this gift.
All the happiness, the joy, the laughter and the fun times.

And now I have to throw it away.
Such times end eventually.

It's been half a year since I had no one to embrace.
No hand to hold.
No partner to support.
No one to keep me up on my feet.
No one to catch me when I fall.
No one to stay by my side.

So it shall be, all things must end.
I have to throw this gift away.

Why can't I?

I'm still holding it. Why?
I'm tearing up. Why?
My vision's getting blurry. A stream, a flood.
A cry from the inside, hands shaking.
My emotions are killing me.

Stop. Please.
You're long gone.
Why are you still here with me?

This gift is keeping you here.
I have to throw this away.
I need to throw this away.

But I can't.

*I just can't.