Tuesday.
Cold.
Dark.
I was worried.
That gut wrenching feeling tangled my insides together so tightly.
'let's take a walk'
Oh no.
What did I do.
What did I say.
'here, Ruth....'
That's my name.
What happened babe?
'I'm sorry.'
No. No. No.
Speak.
Your voice.
Use it.
Why.
What.
'I can't do this anymore.'
What.
'I love her'
Who.
'we've been together a few months.'
Liar.
'I don't want to cheat.'
Did you ever love me.
'you changed.'
I cut myself.
'you're not as happy'
Of course not.
'I can't take it.'
Okay.
Then it was over.
Everything.
Gone.
The only reason I'd held on to life.
Eight months.
Disappeared.
My heart was numb for a second.
That gave me the power to walk away.
But in just a second,
It smashed.
Into a billion little peices.
Walking hurt.
Crying hurt.
The bathroom floor was cold.
I was that girl.
Alone.
On the ground.
Broken.
Then I found shelter in something I'd only ever tried rarely.
The sharp jagged metal launched by my very own fingers caressed my wrist just enough so I could distract myself.
He ******* destroyed me.
And my body.
And my soul.
And my mind.

Her words
bring me to earthquakes,
if I had held someone before
I no longer recall.

I am lain bare,
barely aware
of these binary borders
holding me back.

Her body curves like flowers,
I have bent backwards
on numbing fingertips,
and still she sits,
a spell
possessing my soul.

the wound of heartbreak
leaves her bleeding
figuratively speaking
yet the pain never lessens

day by day
she pushes herself
to get over him
and what they used to be

as time passes
she slowly mended her wounds
with band-aids
but not medication

he approached her
after some time
she fell for the same tricks
again for him

he rips off her band-aids
unknowingly in a savage manner
causing her
to bleed to death

I aim for a kiss and you bite my lip

I kiss your  neck while you're piercing your nails against my flesh, clawing my back

I stare at your eyes and you look away but you give me a smile seductively .

I feel every part of your  body and you pull my hair

I say " you're beautiful " and you replied " talk ***** to me"

The pleasure and pain .

I'm addicted to you. You're my bad habit.

I try to hug and you get up and dress to leave

I say I love you .

You smile and then leave

I will wait for you till you are bored and lonely again

i can't stay here
i can't stay away
i'm split bewteen
what to say

i love you
but you don't love me back
so i'll go hide
in my hearts crack

don't say you miss me
cause i know you don't
don't say you need me
i know i'm not what you want

achromatic.
                      adrift.*

in this
               polychromatic world.


monochromatic views.

breed

duotone intolerance.