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Rainbow
moments
divide
our
desires
into a
spectrum
that
can
never be simplified
by colours alone
X
Screaming loud inside my head.
All of the voices just want me dead.
Curled up in a ball in a room of dark.
My thoughts clamped around like viscous shark.
Rocking back and forth, all alone.
Speaking with the voices, in a softer tone.
Becoming mellow to the ones who are the worst.
Breathing steadily slower, dying of thirst.
Saying "no no no" because I want them to leave.
The screaming continues as I begin to heave.
Unable to bear the pain they bring.
I try to comfort myself as I softly sing.
The voices in my mind only scream and yell.
I think and I scream "What is this!?"
They reply in unison *"This is Hell."
I don't post much anymore, but I am happy with this write.
Being desirable messes with your mind
Think this through and i think you will find
It’s better to be bashful and shy
Then beautiful, bodacious, and that kind of guy
Cause that kind of guy goes away in time
And then you’ll be left with a story like mine.
never get ahead of yourself, always be righteous
 Jan 2016 Stella Stardust
CJ
More
 Jan 2016 Stella Stardust
CJ
The pieces of my soul crack under forbidden touches
Yearning for more
I don't care if I become undone
Feeling the passion
Is worth more than the pain
Of numbness
I want to feel
Revel in the kisses and touches
That come from you
But belong to me
More
I want more
Of you
 Jan 2016 Stella Stardust
Jesica
And she did it again!
The medal glowed around her neck,
Her face was lit up like
A hundred candles burning together.

In the corner of the same room.
He smiled,
His sacrifice had been fruitful.
The girl had lived to become a doctor.

Her mind was filled with gratitude,
For the unknown who had saved her life,

He leaves the room,
Hoping that the truth will never be unveiled.
And thus his sacrifice will be hidden from the world.
Past
Is like
An answer sheet
Handed over to the examiner

Memory
Is a helplessness
That cannot be edited

I am helpless
No matter
What you think about me

I am a stone
That has hauled itself
Through muddled waters for long

You might assume that
I am
A garden pebble

Be careful

If you are hurt
I’ll suffer.


translator : Shyma P
 Jan 2016 Stella Stardust
r
Someday I will leave
the cold sea

Leave its dark quiet wake
like all the long nights
I've forgotten

I will go sleep
on the soft shoulder
of the mountains

Watch her hands
cupping the moon

Somewhere west
of these frozen sad dunes

Say goodbye to the cry of the gull
and the bluewater wind I love

that leaves me feeling so cold.
Same exact date but of different pace
Now reminiscing what happened in that place
That chilly night as we race
Through the situation of life and death.

I still clearly remember
As I was murmuring prayers
Which I poorly and randomly constructed
Even God can't quite understand clearly.

In the midst of the night, we rushed to the hospital
Advised that she must be confined
So my father left me behind
To tend her and to keep an eye.

She told me to take some rest but I disagree
Under her sweet voice I fell asleep unnoticeably
Wishing I never did
'cause that cost me a lifetime of guilt.

Waken up to see her in hysterical
Of the squeezing in her heart that could be fatal
Enough to make me frantic
Trying to think of the essentials.

As I watched her struggling for her breath
I tried to held back the tears that can't help but stream
Not wanting her to see me losing
Hope for her so she'll keep on fighting.

Hoping for a miracle as they recucitate her
I knew  it there but still in denial
And at the crack of the dawn
I lost her...without even saying "Goodbye."

That is one of those times
When you want to gather all those spared hours
And add every single second of it to that very moment
So you could change the course of fate but couldn't.

The feeling of  helplessness
Like a bird without its wings
Can't think of anything
But weep about everything.

Thoughts running in my mind
As unstoppable as the river flow
Tears running down my face
Streaming like the waterfalls.

The pain was unbearable
Especially when you got no one to lean on
Because the one you can always count on
Is the one you're  bleeding for.

It's been three years
But why do I feel devastated after all this time?
Then someone answered me,
" 'cause the memories of the past never go away.
They are with us till the end of our time
."

This may be a memory of the past now
But unlike any other, it will never be forgotten
A past that's always a part of my present
And will always play a big role in my future...

Krystal Marcelo
*01/22/16
I dedicate this poem to my one and only Mom.
I love you and I miss you so much!
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