You stand there and laugh
At your pedestal  
As if you’re better than me
But are you?

We both come from dirt
And will be dirt.

I miss you sometimes
And it’s not that I don’t miss you other times
It’s just that
Sometimes
I freeze and I see you
And I hear your laugh
And I hear you call my name
And it takes everything in me
To not run to you
Because I know that you aren’t here anymore

The years go by faster the older I get
Can you let me know if I’m wasting precious time in advance?
I wish I could time travel but the seconds are still slipping past my fingertips before I can hold them.

I think it’s a blessing to find you in other people.
But you are not other people.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there.
I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.
I’m sorry I can’t change the past.
I’m sorry.

Nothing really lasts
Even a fraction of a second
can end as soon as it came

No love can last
None strong enough to endure
The madness that burrows
Itself deep within me

Unfixable
Unforgivable

I am nothing
But a mere shadow
Of existence

Seeking love
In all the
dangerous places

Nothing lasts
Not love
Not I

All that remains is
This illness
That carries me
That will always carry me

A blinding light enters a room
alighting her as a whole
feeling as if it's meant to be

She tries to hold the light
into the palm of her hands
as it seeps through
silently, like water

She holds the lingering
touch of it
close to her chest
as she hears a little voice

Her inner child
sending her words of comfort
to heal the wounds
from her past

She too now knows
that nothing can harm them
together they will overcome

The voice whispers into her soul
she feels her heart aglow
"Stay with me", she says
she didn't want to break this spell

Her soul speaking
feeling reassured
knowing that time will come

Their time will come
and it will never be too far

I want out
I need out
this plague in my mind

How it takes over all of me
to a point where nothing
else exists of me

I am darkness
I feel nothing
I only sense death 
so close
it's almost comforting

I am so scared to live this life alone
but this is what I get for having 
a mind so corrupted
a soul so lost

I won't always be able to change 
in every way people need me to change

I wish I had the courage to live fully
I wish I had the courage to end it all

Whereas my soul
is smothered in
thick ashes from my past

The only way to move on
is to survive while 
dying to take my final breath

I try to do what I can
to remain resilient
and composed

But deep down
I'm crying
to be seen

To be loved
and embraced
to be valued
and wanted

All I wish
is for that one heart
to collide with mine

And savour all that is
in this world
piece by piece
moment by moment
and never again be forsaken