I guess I’m really the fool
to keep tripping over beards
that have no intention of being kept,
just spreading the seeds of leftover
crumbs and dried up *** from
one pair of legs to the next
I should’ve known, I had been warned
The signs were seen miles away
but I’m an aimless wanderer in search
of I don’t even know so I missed
them by a year of ******* around
Eight in nine—a personal best
but on whose bedpost do I perch to nest?

to write feelings is painting
language upon the fabric of time
and space to see your face’s
true expression without alteration
in mirrors or shiny surfaces
get lost in the mirror when you’re
seeing shapes dance—watch your skin
melt and your eyes bulge; fall into
yourself and emerge anew
encapsulate all the good you can do
time-released splendor
swimming through your system
giving temporary wisdom yet
exhausting vision—seeing the world
as it was intended to be seen
vibrant, saturated—nothing unclean
and being crushed by gravity
when your kaleidoscope filter fades
remember the sensations and
wear them as security

July is summer—
sprinklers and bathing suits,
the month of my birth.

The seventh is bold
and no longer afraid to
heat up a little.

Developing plans,
Analyzing projections
In more ways than one

My dreams remind me
of what's important and it
is no longer you.

Your absence simmers
a saucy mixture of spice
that's good for your health.

Can I please reatreat
to my sweet hideaway that
is my cancer shell?

Sickly, yet eager
to spread my germs by laughing
with my loves tonight.

End one task, start another
No time to bask, reptile mother
Swallow fast, you may not rest
Finish your plate to be the best
Sliding from one screen to the next
Running tabs of information
Saved, but not learned
Promises given, but not earned
Words fall short with no action
A disengenuous, disassociated faction
Of new lifers, new beginners who
Believe there are no surprises left
When there was a reason for everything,
Now only excuses matter and suffice
Where truth prevailed, honesty is now brutality
The only way to make someone see
What is wrong with them, never Me
Blame-game doubles as adults
Accountability shaded by one’s faults
Voices carry over one another
To avoid actually listening
The narcissist’s kingdom we’ve come to
A palace of selfish, self-centered thieves
Focused on serving themselves
Regardless of who is bereaved

Like a foot in between elevator doors,
   you've wedged an opening,
but not quite wide enough to
    fit through
Ambient words of the moment
fill the complacent air
   for far too long
  I wish I could hold us
up to keep you unharmed,
but I'm only the cable hanging us high,
ready to snap with just enough pressure,
  sending you falling to your doom
    while I sway freely

i. He takes at least five breaks for fuel
And four breaks to ***
He strolls in a half hour early
To eat alone in peace

ii. His walk has a cadence
An enlightened stride
Like he’s never late
And always unwind

iii. He is seemingly not bothered
By minor inconveniences
He does not mind when I
Apologize for obstructing his path

iv. Sometimes he says goodbye
Sometimes he does not
Sometimes I say hello,
Sometimes, I cannot

Incapacitated
Dilapidated
The words don’t come
Like they used to
Swimming in fears to
Get those ears unclogged
From years of silencing the self
What new Hell is this?
Purging emotion as if it’s
...All that’s left
How did I make it through before?
I do regret wishing I was happy
I still feel empty inside,
And this was the desired result
Or maybe when the moon turns I’m meant
To be reminded of my humanity
And take the world on, resting on my back
To continue to be strong
To remember the importance of feeling
So that I do not lose myself to create
An apathetic state of emergency
Then what good will emerge from me?

There is too much to
sum in just five to seven
to five syllables

I want to peel your epidermis
like an orange and garnish it
upon my lips
I want your speckled flesh
velvet smooth
underneath my fingertips
Your soft peach skin
flavor of sweat
smells sweetly of sin
One sniff makes me wet
I love your hands,
supple like cream
spreading generously over me
Pigment means nothing
but how much heat
you can take
Thick skin absorbs force—
how much power
can you make?

This heat makes my pores perspire,
   makes my skin itch
There’s not enough water to quench
  my internal thirst
Basking or baking—
bubbling, irritated flesh,
deliciously inviting
minuscule beasts to feast upon
The sun beats me,
whacking me with its rays
  melting for half a day’s pay
I’ll be a puddle on the floor
swimming through cracks in
the cement. Work is a
"tradition" I often lament

Twisting through the dark
Stifled by heat, panting for
a cool draft of air.

A beautiful day
to become aroused; waiting
Anticipating

What am I feeling

in this moment to share with

the masses who care?

Sleep was an escape
just like my dreams were, but now
you are always there.

If only my voice
carried over to deaf ears...
This is my struggle.

I need to trust in love and not make a fuss
when a day or week passes without reassurance
  that what was said is still believed
when I have no reason to disbelieve
I just love too deep and when you don't exercise
you're weak and I've repressed my heart for
so long it yearns hard when it's unguarded
Ultimately, the fence falls because I've been rocking
on it too long and then I'm uncertain where to stand
I want to lean on you but worry you've had enough
of being somebody's crutch
I just want what we all desire;
an unhidden connection with someone
who loves me as much as or more than I do them
It is said patience is a virtue
but who cares about high morals anymore
when commitaphobes run abound
because everyone's at least once given their hearts
to someone on the opposite spectrum
to leave them in pieces by misdirection
But like a 10,000 piece puzzle, with time
and patience, it can be put together again
If all hearts are broken or closed off completely,
how will I ever find one to reciprocate my love so freely?

Laying down truths handpicked for the youths
Don't pass judgements between tooths
Stay all about the sooth-saying
We're all screaming instead of praying
That's why we lose so quickly what were steadily gaining
Don't assume I'm playing when I trip you up
With unexpected grease too slick for a slipper
Servers appreciate a big tipper
But don't break your bank to eat and pay no thanks
Don't knock a gender when you knockin boots with someone who's dead at the roots
Don't go down the wrong way on a one way street
If you're gonna shuffle gotta lift up your feet
If you're cold go out in the heat
If you're old get ready for what you're about to meet
I've stayed silent for so long
Speak up before the moment's gone
And you're reaching for something intangible
Because you felt it was intelligible
Don't suppress what makes you you
Cause there's no one else who can fill your shoes
Don't overthink your thought
You only end up killing that truth you sought
Don't detach yourself, just rewrap yourself
Around peace and harmony, it's good for your health
I'm delirious but are you hearing this?
Sleep's for the weak when all you want to do is weep
Sometimes it's all you need to treat the disease
An escape from your predetermined reality
When you're unable to comprehend what it all means
Remember, loving one another is loving You and Me

The night is young,
and she waits for me
to rise before the sun
and take my leave
   Day breaks while
   my thoughts weave
Tree branches sway
dropping fallen leaves
Cochlea prickle
as The National plays
sketching an image
of better, sweeter days
Time has flown
and with me it stays
  segmented lines
of those poignant days

The breeze from today
tickles the back of mind
where all the thoughts hide.

I see your face when coming undone
And it’s only a distant memory
When I remember to forget you, I wonder
   did you forget to remember me?
I answer my own questions because
you’re not here to do so,
but my answers aren’t uplifting, they only
keep me down and feeling low.
When you’re working, eating, sleeping,
   I’m working, eating, dreaming
of the day, the instance, the moment
when two clicks sound of two brains connecting,
so when silence engulfs, I’m not predicting
my future without your decrepit words
I cremated in the bones of ineffable warmth.
   I wanted different things for us
and you wanted different things for you
I’m trying to figure out who gets what they want,
because I certainly never do.

You’ve shown me the light
at the end of the tunnel
But your words of steel
didn’t stop the train,
Nor did your hand on the lever

I’ve been hit with realization

The cloud of smog you’ve bellowed
Will no longer linger overhead
As the light funnels to a close
I pray the ring of this last call
Echoes throughout your skull

When the bowels churn,
find a lavatory stat!
Don't let them compact.

Words are hollow shells
breaking under weight of the
actions, rarely bold.

Summer has gone quick—
a sequence of unfolding
events, fixed in time

Eager to see what
is in store for the new year,
just two days away.

Connection is best
when mouths are lubricated
with honest intent.

I feel for so long like I’ve focused
on selecting the right words
and stringing them together poetically
my speaking voice has suffered
and word ***** ensues, bits of
chewed up residue from when I
had a coherent thought
I speak in breaks
          pauses
I peruse my inner word bank
and waste time deciding on
which ones to choose
rather letting them flow
as a stream of consciousness

Refutation with
all of my selves--vortex of
insecurities.

Inspiration lacks
when my muse has gone away;
My heart flutters not.

I wonder if people wonder
about me, and if I’m worth
remembering, when I’m projecting
my voice yet can barely hear
my piece over the weight of
the feast. Looking like a snack
won’t sate these beasts. It’s hard
to know your place–when you are
where you’re supposed to be, yet
feel like you don’t belong anywhere.
When the instant reaction to express
your heart lies locked in the spark of
executive dysfunction, and the moment
has wafted away like the lingering smell
stale of yesterday; inner-critique quelling
my own lips from yelling to command
a room’s attention. Not to mention my
vanity lies in personality, skill, intrigue
lack of chatter implies a vestige of depth
for one to sink beneath the surface
yet I wade in opaque waters, watching
reflections to learn just what it is
that ignites hearts that burn

Art has escaped me—
drawing inspiration from
your composition

The days blow on by;
I’m still wondering why I
even care at all.

Water and fire;
Smoldering mix of passion
I had not yet felt

I like tight clothes
for they still hug me
when everyone goes

I vow to compose

the greatest haiku when I

have aged wise and true

I want to stay a
balled up cocoon in my bed
for eternity.