Why don’t you answer me anymore
We’re in love
Aren’t we

I’m so sick of hurting myself
Why did you have to make yourself out to be the good guy

Would you like to see the world through my eyes?
Take a painting
One you adore
And put a film of grey across it
The picture is still there, you know it is
But all of a sudden it’s not as beautiful
And you just can’t figure out why

Watch me walk away
I’m smiling
You don’t know it
You never will
But I’m smiling
And I hate myself for it.

Hold me in your mind,
so i’m not alone in this forbidden feeling.

I will not be the bad guy
You can take what you want from me.
I never really cared about it anyway.

I know I’m a terrible person
Trust me, I have to live with myself.

I’m not a liar
Not to you
So please don’t ask why I cannot look you in the eye
When I plead that I love you.

This is my safe place away from you
These are my feelings i’d never let you see
I will not lie to you darling
You know me better than that
But I will hide these thoughts far away from you
in my own little castle I’ll build out of deceit and misplaced trust.

I am vulnerable.

Like a budding flower, I try to open myself up to you

but my petals are fragile

though you are harmless to me while shut up

when I am opened, I am exposed.

And you are just the wind

you do not know your force,

your strength,

until all my petals and

my protection is gone.

I am afraid.

A child in the dark with a flickering candle.

But every touch of light belongs to you,

and in those moments where the light banishes the dark

I am brave.

I leap over the chasms that you carve into my heart

the rivers you trace over my skin

and though I drown in your lips

it is not air that I search for.

I am selfish.

Though I should try to protect you

my mind screams to be with you

steal you away

keep you even though...

Even though you may not be mine

forever.

I am lost.

I search for stable ground

but with you, there is no such thing

so as the ground disappears beneath us

and though we are vulnerable,

afraid,

brave,

selfish,

lost,

We fall together.

I’m so sorry
But I’m gonna need you to be strong for me
Just a little longer

You will always be a promise I regret making

I only feel pretty when I’m wearing makeup
Or being adored by you

ill love you again and again without fail
but it's not enough is it?
love doesn't fix wounds
and I haven't got the patience to watch you heal.

Maybe we are simply designed to be sad
Our pieces come together just to break over and over again
No super glue is strong enough for that

Maybe some day I’ll write a poem that isn’t about you
Man, what a light hearted poem that’ll be

I don’t really know where I fit
In the grand scheme of things
Nothing seems to be ‘it’
I’m not lesbian or straight
But I love in between
I don’t think I see gender
It just depends on your reality
I want to hold a woman
But I love holding onto my man
I guess I’m just curious
To understand how it feels
To love a familiar figure in my arms
To explore what that means
Because love is love
I guess someday I’ll find where mine lies
In the six colours of the rainbow
I’m sure it resides.

i watched you fade away from me.
your hand wasn't mine
and my heart wasn't yours.

I’m at a weird place in my life
Where I have to decide if it’s better to be crying
Or feeling nothing at all

I will not think about you
I will not think about you in the quiet moments
I will not think about your lips
Your lips
I will not think about your warmth
Your height
I will not think about your smile
So tender,
Who do you smile for?
I will not think about your eyes
Your hair
I will not think about every
Little
Thing
Everything you do that I hate
Because I love

I’m so sick of seeking distractions from life
When will life cease to be inhibitions and start to feel like living

My hand was open
But you,
You chose her
Closed fist and everything.

You walked past me today
I didn’t know until after you were gone
A tall boy in a coat pretending to be older than he is
Hiding behind sadness because it’s the only thing he knows
A cigarette burning your lungs
How ironic

I am in a nowhere place
I thought it was getting better
Whatever ‘it’ was.
But it’s back.
And so are you.

I guess I just want to know you’re hurting
Or at least cared

I wish it was you on the phone
calling me back because you felt I shouldn’t be alone
I wish you’d checked twice as I said goodbye
I wish you’d noticed the tears forming in my eyes
I wish you’d understand when I said I was okay
that there was a reason I looked the other way
I wish you could see that the reason I lie
is the same reason, sometimes, that I cry.

Warning: side effects may include: Dizziness. Lack of sleep. Nausea. Butterflies. Lack of speech. Daydreams. Irresistible urge for closeness. Tingles in fingers and toes. Intense need of eye contact. Dryness of the mouth. Feelings of addiction. Heart pains. Lung shrinking. Love. Love love love love love love love.

I am so
Crushed
That I could not care less as you stand there sobbing.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to write love poems
I guess it’s so much easier to be in hate than in love
And my words reflect my actions
As true as my heart

It was your birthday yesterday.
Hope you celebrated well
If you’re still alive

Can I hold my tongue
In the face of your absence?
Is it wrong to shy away
From the things I want to say?
When I know all I have is borrowed time
Is it wrong to keep you as mine?

I am tearing you apart
You love me
And I frustrate you
More than anything
Is this really love?

I want to lose myself to my unhealthy urges
Piece by piece
I want to **** you off until you stay because you have to
Because you’re afraid of what I’ll do if you don’t
I want to open my mouth and lungs and let the water flood in
I want to flail in my mistakes

Maybe
I’m doing worse
Than I thought I was

I cant take criticism
Which is totally a me problem
Just ends up hurting people that’s all

One day you’ll realise he never cared.
That day will be the most awful liberation you’ll ever have

I don’t think I’m strong
I think I’m lucky

Just stay awake
Just keep talking
Just pretend you love me
Just hold on
Please
Everything is so much scarier in the dark, love.

I am so scared to be alive
How is it possible to fear the very concept of life
I am breathing and I am alive and I am scared to stop doing that.
But to call it a fear of death? That would feel cheap.
I am not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of living.

its not me.
its not me, its not me, its not me

I don’t think
even I would care
if I disappeared.