If it were a shirt or underwear,
I could have thrown it into that corner
This, now, is body
It is not enough to wash it the ordinary way in the bathroom
Have to give it to the sea or the river
Like giving the very soiled clothes to the washerman
Perhaps it will give it back.

I can't sleep when you're mad at me,
I feel like a bad girlfriend
Why didn't I try to fix it immediately after it happened?

I guess I should say sorry, it's always my fault,
Isn't it?
But I hate being the one to start apologizing
Why am I always ruining ****?
I know you'll tell me, after we make up, that I didn't ruin us
That we're still us
I know that. But I still ruined something


I'm sorry I'm insecure and I'm still nervous around you
I'm sorry I feel everything too deeply and get hurt by the smallest things you say or do
I'm sorry I'm sensitive. I'm sorry I got mad at you
I'm sorry for my one word answers, that was the wrong thing to do

I'm sorry I didn't immediately tell you I'm sorry
I'm sorry for writing this poem instead of checking if you're still awake so that I can tell you that
I'm sorry

I've never been good at differentiating want from need all I can say is that being without you makes it hard for me to breathe

Everyone loves you
the world is your stage
each line well rehearsed
you’re the latest craze
yet alone in the darkness
a child cries out
unmasked and revealing
a heart filled with doubt
today they love you
what if tomorrow they don’t
how well will you sleep
knowing your demons won’t

I've been driving all night
With the headlights turned off
And I've got no sight of the road I'm on
I'm not trying to be edgy
I just wanna see what it feels like to walk straight into danger
I don't wanna die
I really don't
I just wanna know if pain tastes differently
If it isn't coming from inside of me

After the morning walk,
While returning,
Bought two bananas from the tea shop

While eating it,
Tried sketching the person
Who cultivated it, in my imagination

Where would the farmer
Who grew the bananas
That I am eating now, be?

Will he be sleeping
Or farming?

Will he be

While thinking about the farmer,
Remembered father, who was an agriculturist himself

Pity!

It was necessary to buy a banana
For this ungrateful seed
To remember its own cultivator!