Happiness called my name... but I didn't answer.
I knew that it was another trick, used to get my attention.
A set-up for the ultimate defeat and heartbreak.

I loved before... it was pure. It was good. It was quite
literally everything.
Just how the mind wakes you up
after you die in a dream because death is something
outside of our imagination so was the amount
of feelings I could have for another.

The time has come where I must let my lover
love life. That means never having the
life we talked about. All those wishes
will never be granted.

So that's why I say when happiness called I
didn't answer.
I responded the last time and now I'm sitting
here writing about having to let go the love of my life
in a puddle of tears.

Why do I write poetry?

I've never though of it
like that.
Free verse is my preferred style
that's because these words
are my diary.

I give my emotions and feelings
on a plate for no fee.
I like having the ability
to just express me.

I let the words rip...
just really as simple as that
sometimes I can rhyme
other times eh... why bother.

Whatever comes to me
is what I put down.
I know I'm finished when
my chest isn't as tight,
when my breathing
is easy...

I know I'm done when the last
tear falls down.
I know... when I feel relieved.

Yea I love to write poetry, it's my therapy.

When you find yourself in the dark
know that I am your light.
When you feel alone,
know I am right by your side.
When you think you've had enough
just think about me.
And if you fall down,
I'll be your crutch.

Left and right they fallin'
waiting to see how it hits next,
thought it was Spring but
it feels like Autumn.

I lost a friend...
and it hurts so much
I lost a friend
I wake up each morning in tears

The thought that what once was
is no more is unimaginable.
We were suppose to make it
to the top.
We were suppose to achieve our
dreams.

I lost a friend...
who I've known for
years.

I lost a friend
who became so much more.

All my memories of him are pleasant.
The only thing I frown at is me when
I would act like a brat but he knew how to
combat that.

Met him in high school but
this summer it felt like
I met someone new.

All day messaging
all night talking
even some early morning
introspecting.

Hard to believe that months later
you are no longer here with me.

I write these words with full
tears in my eyes. I can't see the page
I'm looking towards the sky literally
asking God why.

I'm heart-broken.

I had to give up my sexcapes
I started to form an addiction
and realized the control I thought
I had, had me.

No more did it become my great
escapes but left me feeling
confused and unamused...
**** it was getting hard for
me to breathe.

It was hard for me to believe
that I had sunken to that level
treating my body as a worthless
vessel, digging holes in my
soul and I was holding the
shovel.

****, that's deep...
had to look there for
the parts of me I
had lost.

Guess you can say I
got caught up in the sauce.

The satisfaction became a
fraction. Divided myself
in half and was left
with nothing.

Half a mind, half a soul, half
a body I was walking
around incomplete.

You see I forgot I was a
sun Ray and was my beacon
of hope... promise.

I  promised myself to never
travel back down that path
I picked a dandelion and
made a wish.

With help from God I'm
walking on rainbows to
my own *** of gold.

Gotta give Him praise because
sometimes the road got a lil' rough
but I remained strong.
My journey taught me
to be tough.
Taught me to endure
and have faith.

Now today I'm
celebrating because
my life is a parade.

Winter has been long, feels good to
                       finally be able to bask
                                     in the warmth
                                                    of the
                             sun.