In a yellowing photograph
Smiling back at me
My doppelgänger from the past
Who supposedly is a part of me

But lately, I feel her slowly fading
A piece of her breaking away
And Im sat here desperately clinging
To the piece of her, willing it to stay

I put the yellowing photograph aside
And see my reflection in the mirror
A person I still recognise
Wondering when she will turn, into a distant figure

But these doppelgängers
How do I know when I’ve become better
That I have left the parts of me behind
That will push me towards some peace of mind

Or I have left the parts of me
That made me unique
Have they gone forever?
Because lately I feel incomplete

Because if I do
I’ll fall apart
And I want to be strong
For whenever you need a shoulder

we sometimes so desperately
cling to summer
that we a scarcely notice
the passing of autumn
what a shame it is to miss
the funeral dance
of the falling leaves
no longer green or gold
they clutter the ground
in the fading colors of rust

before we know
winter rides in on a chill breeze
wearing a mischievous smile
and what an odd thing
that we don't take warmth
in fresh fallen snow
fingertips growing numb
red cheeks
a runny nose
children giggling as only they can
so far away from the seasons
were their hearts will know
the weight of gravity
life will one day carry

what a waste we make of youth
too little do we realize
how wonderful it is
to know so little
yet believe in so much
magic hats
skating snowmen
quite mice
flying sleighs
saints of kringle
back when winter lit our hearts
with cozy fires
roasted marshmallows
sips of too hot hot coco

so long ago before we wasted winter
on wishes for days of spring
back when we knew so little
yet believed in so much
before we knew
how to be desperate
how to cling
to wasteful thoughts
wasteful things

back before we lost
the wonder of believing
the joy of simple things
and how to take comfort
in the warmth of winter

Water, as
moving
silk upon
my mind,
is the
endless
river I float
upon in
my small
wooden
boat, I
remember
the flowers
dancing
to the
song
of mine
alone,
I only
wish
to soar
amongst
them
with my
bare feet,
and forget
how I was
once the
one who
fell to
tears
alone,
I sought
to dream,
and still,
I shall,
I row my
boat, & the
milky waves
of the dark,
in their
serenity,
return the
memory
of being
under wool
blankets,
being under
the music of
the moonlit
rain outside,
still warm from
chamomile
tea, as the
gentler
summer
wind
allowing  
my hair to
roam in the
wheatgrass
fields of
memories,
as slivers of
light in the
stream of
consciousness,
painted thoughts
shifting as clouds,
I yearn to hold
those embraces
of solace, I roam
forever in the night
sea, I rested my eyes,
when I was once
in your arms,
seeking to
return
home.

i will use my last breath
to tell myself
you loved me